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Sunday, January 8, 2012

It's Been A Year

The other day, I find myself wearing a pair of used Depends, Men's L/XL, on my head. Yes, on my head. With my face peering through the leg hole.

And I am jumping up and down with the Depends on my head, by Bob's bed, flapping my arms like some kind of demented bird, shouting: "They're not wet! They are NOT wet!"

And then I stop and think, good grief, Diane, you are losing it.

I mean really, call the guys in the white coats.... she's finally cracked. She's got Depends on her head.

I've been in this full-time caregiving business now over a year. Bob came home New Years' Eve, 2010. So it's been a year and eight days and I don't know how many hours.... And I tell you, this is the hardest damn job I've ever had, with the worst pay and no vacations, weekends or holidays off.

And before anyone comments that I need some "respite", I'll tell you what I need. I need a lawn care service, a gardener, a handyman and a cleaning lady... Forget about respite. If I had those things, I wouldn't need a "respite".

Anyway, I was going to write something inspirational to mark this one-year occasion, something about how much stronger I am, how much I learned this past year or how it's made me a better person... but I'm drawing a complete blank.

Except this: I DID IT!!! WHOO HOO!!!!!

And many nay-sayers, including doctors, therapists and other assorted and sundry folks, said I couldn't do it. I'd never survive. I wouldn't be able to "handle" it. I'd end up putting him in that nursing home after all. BUT I DID IT! And I haven't cracked up yet.

Well, I guess, that Depends...

Um, about that. That was my little demonstration to Bob, who insists that every time he pees in the urinal, his Depends are wet and he wants them changed. Which is a big pain in the you-know-what. Not to mention expensive. And believe me, they are NOT wet. Would I really put them on my head if they were?

After my little floor show, a light bulb went off. And I thought, you know, Bob hasn't had an accident at home during the day in months... hmmm... So, this week I'm trying an experiment called Real Underwear. And we're going to try to see if he can wear these during the day without "incident" and if that will "fix" the "wet Depends" dilemma. Of course, Depends will still be depended on at night and for traveling.

Wish me luck. 
And I think a deserve a pat on the back for 
A WHOLE YEAR! I DID IT! 
WHOO HOO!

8 comments:

Grace Carpenter said...

Diane, when I first came across your blog, I couldn't read it much. It was too painful, and too close to home. Now I'm so hooked. Congratulations for making through this year, and I'm sending you and Bob virtual hugs (and maybe some virtual, non-alcoholic champagne).

Tami (your cousin) said...

Happy New Year 2012!
Congratulations on the year!!!!!!
Thanks for writing your blog too :)

Wishing both you and Bob only good things this year.

Sending love

Tami said...

Hey Diane,
You probably know about authors who have had success going through Amazon and selling their books through the Kindle but I thought I would pass this article on to you... maybe something will work for you...
http://www.npr.org/2012/01/08/144804084/a-self-published-authors-2-million-cinderella-story?sc=fb&cc=fp

Jenn said...

You're so f-ing fantastic woman!!!!!!!! Does Bob have Underoos? Superhero underoos. Do you even remember underoos? Lolz. Go for it babe! Great idea. Please be kindto yourself and Bob in case there's a whoopsie, k?

Hey, next time I'm visiting, we can both don Depends on our heads, just for the insanity of it all!!!! Mwahahahahahahaha!!!!
Rock on sista! :-) :-) :-)

Anonymous said...

Keep on truckin D. Thats why you are Bob's partner. Happy to hear your positive motion forward. Love, Patricia

Barb Polan said...

You don't need luck, girl - you've got YOU!
As for that pat on the back, I'm whacking you with my cane!

A WHOLE YEAR! YOU DID IT! WHOO HOO!
A WHOLE YEAR! YOU DID IT! WHOO HOO!
A WHOLE YEAR! YOU DID IT! WHOO HOO!
A WHOLE YEAR! YOU DID IT! WHOO HOO!

I can't wait until Bob has recovered enough to read your blog! Will he laugh or be pissed that you wrote so much about his pee? Laugh, I bet.

Rebecca said...

I remember how amazed I was at what I could do at the end of my first year. So much of rehab takes place at home.

Nikki said...

You're doing great, Aunt Diane!