And I am jumping up and down with the Depends on my head, by Bob's bed, flapping my arms like some kind of demented bird, shouting: "They're not wet! They are NOT wet!"
And then I stop and think, good grief, Diane, you are losing it.
I mean really, call the guys in the white coats.... she's finally cracked. She's got Depends on her head.
I've been in this full-time caregiving business now over a year. Bob came home New Years' Eve, 2010. So it's been a year and eight days and I don't know how many hours.... And I tell you, this is the hardest damn job I've ever had, with the worst pay and no vacations, weekends or holidays off.
And before anyone comments that I need some "respite", I'll tell you what I need. I need a lawn care service, a gardener, a handyman and a cleaning lady... Forget about respite. If I had those things, I wouldn't need a "respite".
Anyway, I was going to write something inspirational to mark this one-year occasion, something about how much stronger I am, how much I learned this past year or how it's made me a better person... but I'm drawing a complete blank.
Except this: I DID IT!!! WHOO HOO!!!!!
And many nay-sayers, including doctors, therapists and other assorted and sundry folks, said I couldn't do it. I'd never survive. I wouldn't be able to "handle" it. I'd end up putting him in that nursing home after all. BUT I DID IT! And I haven't cracked up yet.
Well, I guess, that Depends...
Um, about that. That was my little demonstration to Bob, who insists that every time he pees in the urinal, his Depends are wet and he wants them changed. Which is a big pain in the you-know-what. Not to mention expensive. And believe me, they are NOT wet. Would I really put them on my head if they were?
After my little floor show, a light bulb went off. And I thought, you know, Bob hasn't had an accident at home during the day in months... hmmm... So, this week I'm trying an experiment called Real Underwear. And we're going to try to see if he can wear these during the day without "incident" and if that will "fix" the "wet Depends" dilemma. Of course, Depends will still be depended on at night and for traveling.
Wish me luck.
And I think a deserve a pat on the back for
A WHOLE YEAR! I DID IT!