I know this blog has been quiet. It's been a hard and hectic time here at The Pink House. Bob's death anniversary threw me into an emotional loop and add to that house maintenance issues, including a dead "salt cell" in the pool, which unbeknownst to me, made the water so caustic that my hair turned brittle and began to fall out...
Add dentists and shrink and therapy appointments. A pesky debt collector calling insisting I owe $14,000 on a "gold" VISA card -- I've never owned a gold card of any sort -- so I turned that mess over to my lawyer, but do think it's some kind of scam. Not to mention a ton of telemarketers and election survey calls -- my phone is always ringing, driving me batty, even though I don't pick up if I don't know the caller ID number, I still get messages on the machine. And add my lawn maintenance guy with legal issues and not being able to do his job....
I've been a bit of a wreck. And also exhausted.
My therapist says, "Be kind to yourself."
So I am trying. Been reading a lot. Just finished "The Afterlife Revolution" and working through "Bridging Two Realms" and "365 Ways to Raise Your Frequency", the latter given to me by my therapist. The thinking behind all of this is to awaken and raise your vibration, thus making it possible to communicate, telepathically, with the spirit world.
Call me crazy. But I can hear Bob saying, "whatever" even as I write this....
I've also been working on meditation and sensing auras, neither is easy, but they say it takes time and patience. Unfortunately, though I have time, I'm not so good with the "patience" part... And I have trouble, after so many years of "noise", Bob always wanting the radio or TV on, then the beeping of medical equipment, I have trouble dealing with a house that seems suddenly so very quiet, too quiet.
Today, for the first time since Bob's death, I took the dog for an early morning walk. Something I used to always do when Bob was alive, as it was the only time I could really get out of the house. I would go after disconnecting his nightly feeding pump and giving him morning meds, I would take Boomer out at the crack of dawn, while Bob listened to "rock and roll" on the radio (LOUDER, his request always before I left the house) and then he would do his leg exercises in bed. It wasn't a long walk, because I couldn't leave Bob alone that long, but it was always a relaxing part of the day. And when I arrived back home, I was always greeted with a "Phew!" from Bob, letting me know he got his exercises done...
I'd forgotten how tranquil it is in the early dawn, with the sun just beginning to rise, birds beginning to sing.... though it's beginning to get too hot and humid for a long walk, even in the morning.
Two weeks without the pool (under repair) was stressful. I was up to 120 laps and now, that I can get back into it, I'm only hitting 80... lost a bit of strength, I guess... along with some of my hair....
My memoir about 1/3 through -- rough draft.... though I haven't written much lately. Will try to "begin again" with it this week.
Just priming my fingertips here in preparation for that next jump....
3 comments:
I'm glad you are doing a bit of writing. That is probably the best therapy of all for a writer like you!
I had no idea a pool could go bad like that! It is so nice to have it in your yard, an pictures you have shared are lovely, but it sounds like even more work than I realized.
Always test your pool water before getting into it, but I guess you know that now. The FL sun does crazy things to water and chlorine.
You'll be back to 120 in no time.
Write every day even it's the same word over and over again.
Glad to see your pixels again. I was about to fire off an email to you.
I have a pool company that tests the ph/chemical balance etc weekly, but I think problem is a new employee had been doing it this past month or so and he is not as good as the former employee.... Up to 100 laps as of yesterday!
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