tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post1112963061864381796..comments2024-03-13T17:10:38.581-04:00Comments on The Pink House on the Corner : Grieving X 2 and moreDianehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03278023836822429631noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-26140980572278240002015-09-07T12:59:15.170-04:002015-09-07T12:59:15.170-04:00Diane, Threats need to be reported. No needs to ...Diane, Threats need to be reported. No needs to live looking over their shoulder. <br />Mary AnnAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-5065631172198026602015-09-04T15:15:57.954-04:002015-09-04T15:15:57.954-04:00Hi Diane~
Can you have lunch next week?
Miss and...Hi Diane~<br /><br />Can you have lunch next week?<br /><br />Miss and love you~<br /><br />TiffanyTiffany Lettelleirnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-75059509354868814222015-09-03T22:04:45.707-04:002015-09-03T22:04:45.707-04:00Quit crying you little bitch. Not the only one to...Quit crying you little bitch. Not the only one to loose someone (in your case pretending) to love someone. We know the amount of the monetary value you cheated the State for....Stop this joke of a blog before we contact the other side............ hmmmmm.......Cry baby Cry....You never gave a crap about him or any one else.,:P <br />What's the name of your medium?????? Your time is almost up.......watching you....watching what you spend.............you can run but you can't hide.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-66882848625483310942015-09-03T16:16:35.230-04:002015-09-03T16:16:35.230-04:00You are commended for the soldier in you while Bob...You are commended for the soldier in you while Bob was with you and now it is time to take care of self<br />Hugs from Ohio..... be happy I am not sending snowAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12402562980708831719noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-59485189900800103472015-09-02T19:45:21.356-04:002015-09-02T19:45:21.356-04:00I'm not going to pretend to know what you are ...I'm not going to pretend to know what you are going through and I hope I never do. You totally did everything you could to make things comfortable for Bob and you should be commended for that. You said that people rarely comment anymore? I've try commenting anonymously (which I'm sorry, honey. It is an option) and you chastised me for that and asked that I come forward with my real name. I quit commenting.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-68630758708303904362015-09-02T01:39:25.242-04:002015-09-02T01:39:25.242-04:00My apologies for not commenting for awhile. I'...My apologies for not commenting for awhile. I've been doing some traveling and have had limited access to the internet while doing so. But know I've never forgotten you or the situation you are in.<br /><br />I should probably write this as an email to you, but perhaps I can help others with a long comment here.<br /><br />I know the difficulties in losing a loved one after years of caregiving, and though I was able to move on fairly rapidly, I know of others like you that had extreme difficulty in doing so. Like you, I went through all the grieving steps, basically twice. Once during the years of caregiving and the realization my wife would never be the same and particularly when she started her serious downhill ride to her final days. And again when she was called by our good Lord. I have to admit, the first grieving process was the most difficult to deal with.<br /><br />Moving on can be extremely difficult, but it is something we need to do. But moving on can take place in many ways and over different time periods. First, is dealing with the grief and the loss. I believe it is important for you to join a grief support group, or see a grief counselor to begin that first step. I'm glad you are doing so. Second, and equally difficult is to begin removing the "assist/medical" devices from your home. It doesn't have to be all at once, but perhaps one device per week until they are gone. Third, though right now everything of Bob's is special and important, normal clothing and effects need to be boxed up and donated to a good charity as soon as you can tolerate it. For me, I left the house and had my daughter take care of clearing out the closets and chest of drawers about 3 months after my wifes passing. Her power wheel chair I donated to a local handicapped man that I learned couldn't afford one and insurance wouldn't cover, with his promise to pay it forward when/if he could no longer use it. Items that were very close to her have been placed in a curio cabinet for special keeping.<br /><br />It's been 2-3/4 yrs since her death, but there isn't a day that goes by she isn't in my thoughts. She was part of my life for 35 yrs, but I know she wanted me to move on with my life and live it to the fullest. I suspect Bob would want you to do the same. <br /><br />I am now volunteering some of my free time in helping other new caregivers locally. Most do not know of agencies and assistance that is available to them. Some need help with meals, cleaning, or shopping, and I try to do some for them on occasion. With your experience in caring for a stroke victim as well as being a long term care giver, share that experience with others. Become a speaker at caregiving events, be an advocate for stroke victims on the local and state level. Become active in activities that get you out of your home. Help others that are now in the situation you were. <br /><br />Just know you are thought of and as you can see from the comments, many, many people have been touched by your blog and experiences. Don't ever give up.<br /><br />Thoughts, prayers, and hugs,<br /><br />Dan Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-50988886316620085062015-09-01T19:43:15.373-04:002015-09-01T19:43:15.373-04:00Thank you everyone, I so appreciate these comments...Thank you everyone, I so appreciate these comments and need them right now!<br /><br />Stephany -- great link, thanks for sending it. Only hope I will get there in two years!<br /><br />Kandy -- your comments DO matter! I love them, keep 'em coming!!! <br /><br />Just to know that our struggles have helped or inspired people --- means so much to me.<br /><br />Jo -- I e-mailed you back. thanks.<br /><br />And thank you again, everyone! Dianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03278023836822429631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-38298870034597762332015-09-01T16:43:01.214-04:002015-09-01T16:43:01.214-04:00I still grieve my own stroke--and my wasn't ne...I still grieve my own stroke--and my wasn't nearly severe as Bob's--and I didn't lose a beloved.<br />Grief isn't stupid. It's a process (maybe never-ending?). It's messy. You are entitled to your grief.<br />Love,<br />GraceGrace Carpenterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01728427612743156573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-85418391335813101012015-08-31T16:45:24.499-04:002015-08-31T16:45:24.499-04:00Diane,
It's not stupid! "Getting over&quo...Diane,<br />It's not stupid! "Getting over" it is hard and not something we want to do. Did you read my email? You are not alone in this grieving process. It hasn't been that long since Bob died. It will take baby steps forward to be among the living again. It's not some place you've been in years, just like me.J.L. Murpheyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11782355786883006411noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-18251914420433708732015-08-31T12:28:51.840-04:002015-08-31T12:28:51.840-04:00D, Read the link Stephany Harvey sent. It's ex...D, Read the link Stephany Harvey sent. It's excellent.<br /><br />��Jennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06643831585893822645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-82343365994792077172015-08-31T12:24:43.545-04:002015-08-31T12:24:43.545-04:00Get over it....hmmm. That's like telling someo...Get over it....hmmm. That's like telling someone who's depressed or has some type of mental health issue to "come on, your fine, let it go".<br />Seems as though your life has had one focal point for years now. It had a purpose and it brought challenges that you fought through. Then in one night it all changed and there never was a plan for that. Easily you breezed through all that was to be, like it was still in the works. Therapy room and equipment still fresh in your mind. Day trips, the green machine, the Bob mobile, plans to escape the four wall and have some freedom and fun.<br /><br />I'm no doctor Diane but to me it's not just the loss of Bob and mourning that loss which affects you.Every morning you woke up to his voice and it was "game on". The list of things to do was longer than the day itself. Finding a new purpose for getting up in the morning is going to be the challenge and that's different that mourning the loss of Bob.<br />Change is hard. Your going to need help with that. Making new plans for the future, whatever that looks like will be hard to do. You now have the time to get the help you need. It's no different than the help Bob needed to get better and you worked hard to get that help so find it for yourself.<br /><br />My wish list list for you is still enact and I hope they all come true.<br /><br />mikeMikeFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13906834663968899109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-34917309852137709652015-08-30T16:41:34.392-04:002015-08-30T16:41:34.392-04:00Don't let anybody make you feel like you'r...Don't let anybody make you feel like you're doing it wrong. You are the expert on you. Those people have something else going on, and it's all about them, and has nothing to do with you. Trust yourself. You got this.Denisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09787251044110758758noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-43739867088312750482015-08-30T14:45:00.699-04:002015-08-30T14:45:00.699-04:00Diane, you are the first blogger I ever "met&...Diane, you are the first blogger I ever "met". You are one of only two I follow. You are in my heart every day, as I juggle my feelings of loss #1 (widowed by bladder cancer), loss #2 (my second love's stroke). Your struggles are shared with such candor and vivid description that I cannot imagine navigating without your voice in my head. Please keep on, even if it feels vapid, or repetitive, or needless, or any other negative emotions that prevent you from writing.<br /><br />Your writings on therapy gave me hope and information. Your writings on loss and coping/not coping give me insight. Please keep on sharing with us. Stephany in Iowahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07087782544044214099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-5538796877723069012015-08-30T14:14:24.440-04:002015-08-30T14:14:24.440-04:00Diane, I always check to see if you have added a ...Diane, I always check to see if you have added a blog. When you don't I begin to worry. Having no other way to contact you. You are not alone. You are loved by many of us who you gave hope and strength to. I only wish I could repay what you have given me now. Losing the love of your life is impossible and to tell you not to grieve is insane. However, I wish you could find one thing that would give you an interest. You are such a good writer, maybe put your life with Bob in a book. Please take each day and keep going. Kona needs you and so do we.<br /><br />Love<br />PeggyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-90158927827221256632015-08-30T10:01:52.136-04:002015-08-30T10:01:52.136-04:00Diane, a friend/fellow widow sent me this on FB th...Diane, a friend/fellow widow sent me this on FB this morning. It might fit your sense of the absurd..https://medium.com/keep-learning-keep-growing/i-m-sorry-i-didn-t-respond-to-your-email-my-husband-coughed-to-death-two-years-ago-9e12c93c92fa<br /><br />If it dost not, feel free to delete this comment. Stephany in Iowahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07087782544044214099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-63552881305158517812015-08-29T23:19:05.472-04:002015-08-29T23:19:05.472-04:00Diane, I too hate being considered the strong pers...Diane, I too hate being considered the strong person, it's hard to get someone to acknowledge that these people also need a quiet hug and a 'I'll be there for you when you need to talk.' That's all I have.<br />Deanoc1deanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02302555382262295577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-30748002142072518842015-08-29T22:44:18.312-04:002015-08-29T22:44:18.312-04:00You were the first person I met on the stroke site...You were the first person I met on the stroke site and I liked you immediately, tho we have never met in person. I connected with you because your loved one had a stroke (mine was my mother-in-law) however now I connect with you because your husband passed away. My first husband passed away in 2007 from brain cancer. I did not much about the internet, nor blogs, and I had one good friend to confide in. So now we have two things in common, but sometimes I still do not know what to say. Please be strong. Cry - when you need to, but you are alive and need to go on with life. One day you will be putting one foot in front of the other, you will be making decisions, you will laugh when you are alone. But these things will only happen at your speed and when you can handle them. That IS NOT STUPID that is your healing time. Luv ya - Trudy from Texas Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-6629809647210559232015-08-29T16:21:54.199-04:002015-08-29T16:21:54.199-04:00Diane, there is no time limit on grief. Like the s...Diane, there is no time limit on grief. Like the stroke journey, a journey through grief is very individual and intensely personal. It is natural for you to feel lost and alone. The love of your life is not there to spend your days with. But I truly believe that Bob is still with you. He will always be within your heart. I wish I could say something to help you feel better. I hope the grief support group helps. Please know that I think of you often and sending you vibes of peace and comfort. I wish we were closer so I could give you a big hug, sit on your porch with you and cry and laugh a little too. Please know that I am here and that I care. You have been such a warm, welcoming person along our stroke journey. The love you have shown others has truly made a difference. Please never forget how wonderful you are. DebbieLnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-87623482654767088972015-08-29T15:30:23.578-04:002015-08-29T15:30:23.578-04:00Diane, Most of us do not know what are you going t...Diane, Most of us do not know what are you going through because you are the owner of your emotions and feelings but sure if make me sad to read you feel so lonely and empty, I wish we were closer so I could stop by and visit you and hold your hand, I worry about you, please be careful and let us know how you feel, we love to hear from you. Keep us updated with the grief support hopefully helps you in the ways you need to be helped. <br />Hugs,<br />YadiraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-59608073753519966782015-08-29T12:47:31.808-04:002015-08-29T12:47:31.808-04:00I'm so sorry you are going through this. I kn...I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know its so hard to see someone you love go through the horrors of a stroke and to deal with the damage that is left is just horrendous. What you have been through has been quite a journey and I know that this new road that you are on is going to be so different than where you have been. I am glad you have Kona and Ripley there to be your partners through this new stage. Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06589745443310556204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-58973420425415079462015-08-29T12:09:06.343-04:002015-08-29T12:09:06.343-04:00Hey Diane - I've been following your blog for ...Hey Diane - I've been following your blog for a year or so now. I pounded my fists when the lawyers were dicking you around. I jumped for joy when the settlement finally came through. And I sobbed when Bob passed in his sleep. The internet can be so misleading in its anonymity. But, like so many, I have quietly been here as you continue to share your story with us. And like so many, I am quietly rooting for you. Praying for you. Looking up into the sky and thinking about you. Please keep writing to us. The story has so many chapters left.Bukeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12411302408033247995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-20808040744156763512015-08-29T12:03:17.270-04:002015-08-29T12:03:17.270-04:00Thank you everyone, sorry for my pity-party. It&#...Thank you everyone, sorry for my pity-party. It's been a tough week, waiting on electricians to fix our generator and a tropical storm barreling this way and issues with my health insurance, etc. <br /><br />I start a grief support group next Thursday. Hopefully, it won't be flooded out.<br /><br />thank you againDianehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03278023836822429631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-39340549216439300662015-08-29T10:41:40.141-04:002015-08-29T10:41:40.141-04:00Diane,
I am so sorry you and Bob had to experienc...Diane,<br /><br />I am so sorry you and Bob had to experience such heavy struggles. As usual, your post touches my heart. You are an amazing woman. The love you and Bob have for each other shines through in every post. Please don’t stop writing. You are an inspiration.<br /><br />I wish there was something I could say to help. Grieving takes as long as it takes. Be as patient with and accepting of yourself as you were with Bob. You deserve the same love and care you provided.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-22818095636937253822015-08-29T10:40:07.979-04:002015-08-29T10:40:07.979-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4683912290300109544.post-54699488996082786772015-08-29T10:04:38.753-04:002015-08-29T10:04:38.753-04:00Diane-- I am here and have been reading for some ...Diane-- I am here and have been reading for some time now. Thank you so much for continuing to tell your story. You truly are so strong (even if you don't feel that way), and I have such admiration for you. My father had a severe left side ischemic stroke in January 2013, and is now in assisted living. He was so smart, had his own dental practice for over 40 years and was still working every day, was so independent and self-sufficient, and it is so painful for me to now watch him in his current state being so dependent on others for absolutely everything. I hate it, and I hate not knowing whether things can ever get better or how long this will go on for. Stroke is so cruel. <br /><br />I am sending you hugs and good wishes that you pull through this rough patch soon. Seeking professional help to talk through all of this grief has been so helpful for many people in my family over the last few years. If that's something that's available to you, I would definitely recommend it. Lauren KFhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15617311884797337897noreply@blogger.com