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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Singing Penis & Other Bladder Problems

We just started another new bladder control medication, this will be the third or fourth one (I'm losing track) that he's tried. The last one was Vesicare, first 2.5 mg. then 5 mg. and finally 10 mg. The 10 mg. seemed to help---sometimes, but in the past few weeks it was more and more ineffective. The urologist switched Bob to Enablex but that turned out to be time-released and could not be put into his feed tube. So now he's on something called Gelnique, which is a topical gel that's absorbed through the skin---and I am just praying this works.

Bob's main problem is that he feels a constant urge to pee. And I mean constant. All day long, it seems, he needs to pee and nine times out of ten, he can't go. The urodynamics test showed that his bladder floor was contracting instead of relaxing, then relaxing instead of contracting, so it's pretty much all screwed up. You can't believe how aggravating, time-consuming and not to mention uncomfortable (for Bob) this has been. He's even developed pressure sores you-know-where from using the urinal so much.

The first dose of Gelnique seemed to work like magic, he was able to pee just one hour later. Then the next day, we were back to square one. At the one week mark, he had one beautiful day, it was heaven, everytime he had to pee, he could! I was doing a happy dance all through the house (amazing, the things that get me excited these days) but then the next day, he once again cannot go.

Then, yesterday, while he was trying to urinate, his penis was singing. I kid you not. At least, that's what Bob said it was doing. Our conversation went something like this:

Bob: "It's singing." Motions to you-know-what.

Me: "You mean it's stinging?"

Him: "No. It's singing." He's quite adamant about this.

Me, thinking this is the aphasia talking, he means something else: "Tingling? Burning? Itching?"

Him: "No! IT'S SINGING!"

Me:  (thinking: It's certainly not singing, I mean, I can't hear anything.) "I think that's the wrong word, sweetheart. You don't mean singing, you mean something else. Try to find the right word."

Him, silent, trying to find the right word.

Me: visions of you-know-what with a microphone and miniature top hat, tap-dancing across the stage.....

Him, finally: "Boinking?"

Lordy lord. Sometimes, I tell you, it's darn hard to communicate. And I still don't know what he meant or if he really said "singing" or I just couldn't understand him. Though it is rather funny. Just praying this new medication kicks in soon. Our wedding anniversary (17 years!) is this coming Friday and I'd really like to take him out for a "date" without spending the whole time in the bathroom.....


barbpolan said...

I can't stop laughing about this...

sal said...

there is some humor in all of this and this is it. Made my day.

Nikki said...

Haha! Singing penis....