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Wednesday, May 5, 2021


I didn't realize I have been so neglectful of my blog, over a month of silence. So sorry.

A word of advice to any readers out there: if you don't have a Last Will & Testament, draw one up. If you have make sure it's up-to-date. Unfortunately my sister's will is over 20 years old and so very outdated. She left my father and me as co-representatives, not knowing that when she passed I would be 1400 miles away and my father in his 80's. She didn't specify any particulars on how to split her assets except 50/50 between the kids. She didn't have PODs (payable on death) beneficiaries on many of her bank and annuity accounts. All this has left her estate a complete mess in Probate. Add family disputes, things disappearing from the house, me rushing to notarize paperwork to send up north. My father's medical issues causing the burden to fall on my mother. Add Co-Vid and the inability to hold an estate sale. Days spent on the couch in tears.... Like I said, a mess. My therapist says that my sister's death plus the isolation from Co-Vid is bringing back my grief from losing Bob and I do miss him now more than ever. It will be 6 years this month... 

On top of dealing with this, spent an entire day at a car detailer "mold bombing" my formerly flooded car.  Which afterwards smelled like a toxic waste dump, and the conditioner they used left the gas and brake pedals so slippery that it was nerve-racking drive home. 

And hours on the phone dealing with my insurance regarding medical bills, including one that was submitted to the wrong insurance company and then turned over to collections....  And insurance claim paperwork.

Having to have a new AC unit installed... etc. with general usual home maintenance and mold issues in the house.  

Still working with on my hand therapy...

My book manuscript has come to a screeching halt.

I will be try to post more regularly in the future.

Sorry again. Excuse any typos, fingers still not working right. Frustrating.

Tuesday, March 30, 2021

Trying To Get My Act Together

 Since my sister's death and three hand surgeries and on-going trouble with my fingers, life has not been the same. Even with the pandemic, I was at least coping: working on my writing, trying to keep on top of the chores, swimming, walking the dog, then everything fell apart.

Sort of like my window box:

 Which I finally got around to replanting....

And I called the AC guy.

Remember my warping counter top? Also been dealing with mold and mildew and uneven floor boards. All this time I thought I was doing something wrong, turns out that the AC the original contractor insisted on putting in the house is too big and is causing humidity issues...

I tell you, if this is true, I could kill that contractor, for now I have to replace the whole system to hopefully fix this damp old house.

I was starting to get things done, feeling pretty good -- even with my darn gimpy hand, making plans to start working on my writing, getting the house in order, walking Kona a mile a day, swimming, etc. then the phone rings and it's a robocall threatening to sue Bob, yes you read that right, not me, but Bob. Usually I do not return these scam calls, but this one pissed me off so I called back and basically screamed at the guy who answered the phone that his company was threatening A DEAD MAN! And afterwards, after slamming the phone down, I curled up on the couch and had an honest to goodness nervous breakdown. Was sick for the days afterwards...

Sometimes I just can't deal with everything.

So much for trying to get my act together....  

PS: Kona doing better.

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

Pills, Sprays, Drops....

I'm talking about Kona... Another ear infection, plus a belly rash and she's licking bald spots on her hips. Vet thinks she was bitten by some bug or got into something she's allergic too. 

So my day has become a caregiver day once again. Two different pills two times daily, her morning immunotherapy pump, her p.m. ear cleaning and drops, and 2-3 times daily anti-itch spray. 

Kind of too familiar.... 

Monday, March 15, 2021

My Overwhelmed Messy Life

 I know this blog has been quiet... partly has I'm still trying to get my fingers back in play, partly because seems my house is crawling paperwork and things to do...

My office looks like a tornado hit! Yellow files insurance forms, red/pink my sisters estate... mixed in my manuscript notes and sundry things to take off my to do list, like request replacement for Kona's missing dog tag and an exemption for jury duty summons and bills, bills, bills....  Not to mention stuff to fix a stuck mouse, aargh, household projects/repairs needing to be done or just finished including tree trimming, pool repairs, still need to call AC guy and just cleaning up not only my office but the whole messy house .... hoping things will calm down soon....  

 My desk! 

My Other Desk!

Sunday, February 14, 2021

Last Night

I had the strangest dream. I died and ended up in -- heaven? Well didn't look like any heaven I know, but a large white walled room, filled with people. There was a thin, young man next to me and I asked him, "Where are we?" He said. "Don't you know, we're dead?"

There was a woman in a business suit with a clipboard, she was asking our names and checking them off, then she would call out a color: Yellow! Pink! Blue! And another woman would come forward and hand each of us a robe, a white thin cotton robe with a cloth belt. In the middle of the robe was a large colored stripe. Mine was yellow. I looked over to the thin man, his was pink and splattered with blood. I quickly checked my robe to make sure there was no blood on it. There wasn't.

Then we were told to go to the door that was the same color of the stripe on our robe, put our robes on and enter that room. I, along with some others, shuffled to the yellow door, opened it, inside were people sitting on yellow plastic chairs wearing the same type of robes, all looking rather bored. Then I spotted Chris in the corner.

"About time you got here, bitch," she said.

"How long have you been here?"

"I don't know, seems like forever. These bastards just keep us waiting and waiting."

"Have you seen Bob?"


I scanned the room looking for Bob but he wasn't there. I started worrying he had been sent to a different room with a different colored robe....

Suddenly, I was back in my bed. I thought, oh my god, I'm dead and now I'm a ghost! Haunting my own house! I laid there for a moment wondering, was I a ghost? Then thought, if I were, shouldn't I be floating above my bed, looking down?

Tentatively, I turned to my side, happy to see I wasn't floating and the movement made me pass gas. Truly, I nearly laughed out loud. Ghosts don't fart! At least I've never heard of a farting ghost. I looked at the clock, the familiar stuff on my nightstand, finally sat up, slipped on my slippers, Kona's and Ripley's cue that mom was up and it's time for breakfast...

I don't even know why I'm blogging this weird dream, guess I just can't get it out of my mind.... but I tell you I often go to bed wondering if I will wake up. After what happened with Bob. And my sister.  

And I am going crazy with paperwork, my medical insurance, my sister's estate...  

Sometimes I just feel like I'm going crazy.

At least this post is giving me some good finger exercise. My hand is still very sore and stiff....

Sunday, January 24, 2021

The Invisible Woman

I'm sure you have heard of the Invisible Man, now meet the Invisible Woman: me.

I tell you these past few weeks, I have disappeared!

Started with an scheduled termite treatment. Guy was supposed to be here between 2-3 p.m., no one showed up. Called their office, said I was on the schedule, but no one assigned a technician....

OK, so rescheduled that. That day, I wait and wait and no one shows up again... so call the office. Oh, I am on the schedule, but they forgot to assign a technician once again to come out.  Grrr...  So reschedule. (And don't tell me to change companies, it's under warranty)

Then, I have a follow up with my hand surgeon, 2:50 p.m. Go there, check in. Still having problem with my pinky and ring finger, typing is a bitch, let alone sometimes that hand just shakes and sweats... so I'm thinking I need OT....  

Sitting in the waiting room, 3 o'clock, 3:30, I see a woman close to me who is stroking her hand and ask her what doc she is there to see, same one as mine, her appt. was 3:00. I tell her mine was 2:50... we both shrug, doctor must be running late...

Meanwhile, Bubba is scheduled to pick up my flooded out car at 5:00, so I am worried about several things, i.e. am I ever going to see the doc,  and then will the car start, will I make it home.... anyway...

3:45, they call in the woman who had the 3 p.m. appt.  She looks at me, shrugs, and goes in.

I go to the counter and ask them, what's up? I had a 2:50 appt. and they just called in the 3:00 appt, and they tell me I never checked in! I tell them yes, I did. The computer has no record of me....

I tell you, I think I have disappeared!