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Thursday, May 28, 2015

My Beloved has gone home

This morning when I awoke, the sun was already up and this is unusual, because usually Bob wakes me at the crack of dawn with his "The sun is shining!" and "Good morning!!" so I called "Good morning!" and got no reply.

I went to his bed to find him gone.

My beautiful, wonderful Bob passed away quietly in his sleep sometime last night or early this morning.

I am still in shock.

37 comments:

Barb Polan said...

Diane, I am so, so sorry that you have lost your soulmate. I'm sure your memories of him and your whole life together will help comfort you. I'll be praying for you and your broken heart.

J.L. Murphey said...

Oh, Diane! I am so sorry! Sending prayers of comfort.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Diane! My heart is aching as I write this. Things happen when you least expect them. I wish I was by your side to sit next to you and hold your hands. praying.
Love Yadira

oc1dean said...

Sorry about your loss Diane

Anonymous said...

So not expecting this. I am so sorry. LaX.

Helen of WI said...

Stay strong, as you have proven time and again that you are. Think of the good times you shared. My heart goes out to you.

Anonymous said...

Diane
Ed & I are so sorry for your loss. Sending Prayers & Hugs to you. He is with God now. Love you!!

cheri said...

:-(

Jenn said...

I'm sitting on my bed, a sitcom on the tele for background noise. It all seems really stupid, the commercials, the news updates, stuff that made me aggravated earlier today... your words from our phone conversation today echo in my head....my throat tightens, tears roll down my cheeks.....I am profoundly sad for the loss of your sweet love. It's all so weird, loss. Please take care of yourself, let yourself feel the good emotions as well as the sorrow. <3

Karen E said...

Oh, my heart aches for you! I've been reading your blog for 3 or 3 /2 years it has helped me so much as I was dealing with my husband's stroke. His stroke was 9/2011 and He died 15 months ago so I know the grieve you feel. I hope we will continue to hear from you for while as I would like to know how you are doing. God bless you!

Sally said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DavKan said...

I know I just recently found your blog and started following it.
But when I started reading your post, I knew what you were going to say before you said it..my throat clenched, I couldn't seem to take a breath, and I started to cry.
I've felt such a kinship with you. Your gift for writing has brought your and Bob's life to life, so to speak.
I'm not sure you'll ever know just how many people you both have helped..how many of us who's lives you've touched.
My heart is sad... for you, for your sweet pets, for all who love you and Bob. And yes, selfishly for me...because I know when we love, inevitability at some point there will be loss. This road of life we are all on while at times wonderful, can be scary. And precarious...
Sometimes words can't say what our hearts feel. I'll leave it at that.
And I pray you find comfort in your sweet memories.

Regards,
Kan

Elizabeth, John, Jack, and Luke said...

I am so sorry! :( Your love for each other was a blessing to "watch"/read about. May peace comfort you in time.

DebbieL said...

Diane, my heart just hurts so much for you. I can't even find words to say that make sense. Wishing you comfort and peace. Love from Debbie and Kaj

Sally said...

My heart aches for you. I pray you will find peace in the days to come. My condolences and God bless!

Barbara Lambert said...

In the community of stroke survivors, yours has been the greatest love story ever told. My thoughts are with you. A lump in my throat. May you eventually come to some peace.
Additionally, hank you for all your wonderful writing. Perhaps you'll continue some as the days go on. I'd be interested in hearing your reflections both on the past few years with Bob, as you look back on them, and on this continuation of life for you, as you move on without him.
Barbara Lambert

Anonymous said...

Oh Diane I am shocked!!! I can't believe it, how unpredictable life can be...I have been amazed at your endurance, and dedication to Bob. He was so lucky to have you in his life. May your wonderful memories bring you comfort....So sorry!!!!
Alice

Anonymous said...

I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am to hear this news. My deepest condolences to you and your family. Know that you and Bob are in my prayers and thoughts, and always will be. I'm sure he is now singing with the angels.

With love, hugs, & prayers,

Dan

Susan said...

My heart is also aching for you. I have followed your blog ever since we "met" online at another Caregiver Site. Your stories, your advice, your strength and your love for Bob has carried me through with my journey. Dahn had his stroke in Nov of 2011. You helped me through the struggles.

So sorry for your loss.

Grace Carpenter said...

Oh Diane, I am so sorry.

Your writing has helped so many people. Your love story will be with me always. I will be praying for you.

Lauda said...

I am feeling kind of faint just from reading this...I am so sorry. Blessings to you - you have been the best wife a man could ever ask for. I picture him whole and looking down on you with such love and gratitude.
Sincerely
Lauda

Anonymous said...

My heart goes out to you, I can't imagine the pain you are feeling. Sending a big hug!! Love your cousin Tami

Lisa said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been following your blog for a year now and it has been such an inspiration to me. Your love story is truly so beautiful and when I saw your post, my heart just broke. Your strength in the most difficult times has been uplifting to me as a caregiver. Please accept my deepest condolences.

Denise said...

Diane, you have helped me so much since I found your blog--I had a major stroke 2 1/2 years ago and reading about your adventures has given me valuable information and hope as I've read along. I wish that I could give you a tiny bit as much as you have given me. Good-bye, Bob, you are gone too soon.

Theresa Loder said...

Hello Diane
For some reason I wanted to check your blog today..
We are so very sorry to hear this news.. Your love story has helped so many people including Rick and I..
You shared everything with all who had the privilege of reading it..
You are in my thoughts and prayers
Take care
Rick and Theresa

Clydine Moore said...

Hello Diane, I'm a friend of your sister, Karen, and have followed your Blog for several years. I've admired your strength and loving dedication to Bob since reading the first blog. I'm so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers in the coming days and I hope to hear from you (through your blog) in the future. God bless.

Clydine Moore

Anonymous said...

Diane, I am truly saddened by the news of Bob's passing. ALthough we never met in person, I have followed your blogs and always felt close to you and Bob thru your stories and pictures. You helped me so much when Dahn had his stroke in Nov of 2011. I can't thank you enough.

Sending love and peace to you.

Susan (Willowangel)

Anonymous said...

Diane I am so sorry to hear about Bob. May you find peace in knowing you were his love. Prayers for you.

Peggy

Rebecca Dutton said...

I am so sorry to hear about Bob. My heart goes out to you.

Anonymous said...

So so very sorry to hear about Bob.

Thinking of you and your family!

Lillian

oc1dean said...

Diane,
In case you want to continue blogging you could follow Jean Rivas' example after her stroke husband died. You have a wonderful talent for writing. http://misadventuresofwidowhood.blogspot.com/
Dean

PJK :o) said...

I'm so very sorry to hear your sad news. You & Bob have been an inspiration to so many people & it's just so unfair.
Keeping you in my thoughts & hoping the wonderful memories of your life together will help you through the hard days ahead.(((((Hugs)))))

deedee53 said...

I am so very very sorry for your loss Diane. I had been following you on the stroke community site. And then just recently here. Our husbands and situations were so alike, so I could relate to all you were going through and so I started to feel more empowered, encouraged, understood have you. Hearing from a "real" caregiver can do wonders. I still plan to go back and read more. Thank you for making such an impact in so many lives, in our lives. Hoping to hear from you when the time is right for you. Take care. Dianne

Anonymous said...

Diane, I have been thinking of you every day, since you lost Bob. I am so very sorry for your loss. You have been an inspiration for everyone that followed you. I pray for God to give you strength and peace in this new journey you must take on. We love you and admire you. Aunt Rose and Uncle Arnie

DavKan said...

Just wanted to check in with you. Had you on my heart, and am keeping you in my prayers. When my world was reeling in the immediate days after my hubby's stroke and I found your blog, it helped steady me just a bit. Funny thing to ponder that, as I'm typing it.
As we're virtual strangers, yet I felt a common kinship with you from the moment I started reading your and Bob's story.
I hope all of us who've benefited so much from your writings can somehow help ease your sorrow...even just a little, by letting you know we care.
Regards,
Kan and David

Anonymous said...

Diane I pray we are doing okay. Please post a note on the blog that you are hanging in. I think about you often and although we have never met I feel I know you. I agree with Kan and David, that you have helped so many of us as caregivers. We all want to send you hugs and our love. Please let us know you are okay.

Peggy

Stephany Harvey said...

You wake up, the sun is shining, the world seems the same, but the whole universe has shifted. Your beloved has left you, and nothing will ever be the same.

You may be left with "what if?" "what if I checked on him?" "what if I slept near him?" "what if I took him for medical care sooner?"

This exact thing happened with my beloved husband. He slipped away during the night, in his hospice-provided bed in our dining room, as I slept on the floor beside him.

The "what if?" questions tormented me for months, until I received the gift from an online friend, in the form of a musing: "what if he decided that the best gift he could give you was to slip away quietly, without you feeling you needed to give more and more? What if he decided you had given him what he could, and he was fulfilled, and had the peace of knowing you were cared for, and had seen that you could handle your new future?"

I realized that I had given him the peace and comfort that I could, that he felt he had permission to pass, and the emptiness I felt was a part of my love for him.

I do not say that my situation was the same as yours. Your Bob was such a great inspiration for all us who have followed The Pink House on the Corner. I have taken your advice to heart, and every time a post arrives, I make it a priority to read. I only hope that you know that we are all sending you comfort and hugs and strength, and hopes for peace.