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Wednesday, August 26, 2015

And now

Well, my nephew has come and gone, and we had a real good time. I so enjoyed his company and he helped me take Bob's lift down from the bathroom ceiling and haul that plus a bunch of boxes into the attic. And move the hospital bed into the back bedroom --- quite a step for me.

David and Kona
And we had some fun and even hit the beach! -- first time for me, since -- well, before you-know-what:

At the beach -- that's David on the left side, way down there in the water!
I did the "old lady thing" and rented a cabana - - as it was so very hot. So he swam while I hid in the shade reading my grim books.

So now I'm alone again and I tell you, I am still not handling any of this well.  Yesterday, I ran into a old neighbor (from our old neighborhood) at the dog park and after telling him that Bob died, Boomer died, etc. he got all excited and told me "You have a NEW LIFE, a NEW HOUSE, and NEW DOG!" and that this was a "TIME OF OPPORTUNITY!!" for me and I should embrace it as a good thing.

Oh my --- I wish I could feel that way, but mostly, I spend my days crying and just getting through, doing what I have to. And feeling alone, lonely and watching way too much ID (Investigation Discovery) Channel -- just because it makes me feel better --- I mean, my life might suck but at least I don't have any decapitated heads buried in my garage! ha!

And I miss Bob, so so very much....

And I don't know how to go on/if I can go on without him.  I am really not doing so well, at all.

Did sign up for a grief support group --- starts next week.


Stephany Harvey said...

Oh, my, Diane...the things that come out of people's mouths when they don't stop and think. I hope it flew right over your head, and that the neighbor stepped In a mud puddle on the way home. Cry on your own schedule. Scream, shout, pout. Take a deep breath and look at the sky. Maybe pretend you are waaaaay up there, looking down at you, and send yourself a hug. That's what I wish you.

Jenn said...