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Friday, April 29, 2016

Chris is dying

Yesterday, I talked with Chris's son, who told me she wasn't doing well and when I said I was planning to go see her this weekend, he told me to get there as quickly as I can as it would probably be the "last time".

So I went to see her yesterday afternoon.  She looked terrible. Bloated. She did open her eyes, she did blink at me. She was moving her mouth but no words came out. Her tongue was swollen like a huge alien thing.... 

I told her that I loved her, that she had been a good friend and thanked her for all she had done for me and Bob.

I don't know if she understood me.  I don't know if she recognized me.  I thought, for moment, that she did, but then when I left the side of her bed, she was still staring in the direction where I had been sitting and still making the same blinking, grimacing, mouthing movements. So it may have just been involuntary movements on her part.

I spent last night crying on the back porch. I am still crying.

I will try to visit her this weekend, if she is still with us.

My heart is weary from so much breaking..... 


Jenn said...

I know how extremely hard it was for you to visit. Your love for Chris makes your courage strong. Your courage helps propel you forward and through that which we all must face. I stand with you, though miles away. I embrace your sadness and heartache. I send my thanks to Chris for what she was able to bring to you and Bob. She is a true lotus in the pond.

DebbieL said...

So sad to hear about Chris. I am sure she knows you were there. Big hugs to you!

Linda said...

I am so sorry to hear this about your friend. Even if Chris was unable to communicate with you, some part of her will have known you were there and felt your love. I wish you comfort at this time.