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Monday, April 17, 2017

Still Grieving

I know it's been awhile since I posted -- I haven't because I'm still in deep grief. Next month will be the 2 year anniversary of Bob's passing --- and I can't believe it's been that long, seems like only yesterday, then sometimes feels like 100 years ago... I am still in somewhat of a state of shock, can't believe he's gone...

I just try to get by --- day by day....

Am going to counseling, seeing a shrink, taking Xanax.....

Taking care of my dog, cat, Chris's two fish (still alive, surprise!) -- I swim every day in the pool as weather permits. Kona is the Evil Queen of Tennis Balls, you should see her dive in the pool after them. At least, she can make me laugh.

Still missing Bob so much. My heart still shattered. Am reading a lot of "grief healing" books ---
And trying to heal -- if that is possible.

Sorry this blog is so quiet.

Almost scared to post here -- as I think everyone has forgotten about me, or doesn't care anymore.....


10 comments:

Stephany Harvey said...

Hugs, sweetie. It does get better. Keep writing.

Barbara Lambert said...

I absolutely am interested. You're a good writer. I hope that life gets a little easier. I was in mourning for almost 20 years when my sister died at the age of 35 in an auto accident. And I wasn't even seeing her that often. I should have sought counseling. I almost was too busy, or felt like I was, with work, hospitalizations of my son, etc. to attend to my own needs. Glad you are getting counseling and taking your grieving seriously, both to do it and to get through it.

DebbieL said...

Big hugs to you! I think of you often!

Rebecca Dutton said...

I keep your blog on my side bar so I will always know when you post. I can't believe it has been two years since BOB pasted either. So glad you are working in healing.

Diane said...

Thank you -- everyone, I certainly do appreciate your comments! Makes me feel so not alone...

Linda said...

Still reading and still caring. Grief is your own unique journey. It takes the time it takes but I am glad that you are looking for needed support.

I am always interested in hearing how you are doing.

Denise said...

I think, above all, you should not worry about how long it takes. I have never lost my spouse (although came close this winter, which was awful), but I just don't think you ever "get over" it. I still remember when my mom died, in 1980. Yes, it's been that long, and I've never "gotten over" it. Nor do I expect to, or want to. My dad died in 2005, 25 years after she did, and I know he hadn't "gotten over" it, although he had recently married the woman he had been living with for over a decade, and seemed happy with her. But he had a life with my mother for over 30 years, and 7 children. Nothing can make those years or the love they had for each other disappear. Things change when someone dies, and the ones who are left here continue and move on, whatever that looks like, but I don't think we ever "get over" it.

Anonymous said...

I am still here. I check in all the time to make sure you are ok. So glad you have the pool and Kona to keep you going.

Peggy

Barb Polan said...

Same as Rebecca here - your new posts show up on my reading list, so I always see them. I will not forget the story of you and Bob, or stop caring. Hugs.

Anonymous said...

Diane, have you thought about getting your dog certified as a service animal? Our Grandson, Kyle has a Chocolate Lab who is his service dog because of PTSD. He came back from serving in Iraq and was diagnosed with it. Max, his dog, is allowed EVERYWHERE Kyle goes. He has even flew on airlines with Kyle. All you have to do is talk to your phyciratist and he will take it from there.