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Wednesday, June 14, 2017

EMDR Dreams & Emotions

Since doing EMDR, my dreams have changed. Before, when I dreamt of Bob, the dreams were always about "losing" him -- i.e., I'd see him, then he'd disappear and I would be frantically searching for him meanwhile something like a hurricane or flood is happening at the same time. Frantic dreams. Anxiety dreams. Awful nightmares.

The other night, I dreamt of Bob and he scooped me up in his arms then suddenly we were flying, floating in a starry night sky and I felt so deeply his love and I thought, this is heaven, I was in heaven with him...

Then another dream, instead of "losing" Bob, I 'found' him at a flea market -- and I said, "There you are!" and he explained that he hadn't died, but been kidnapped and forced to divorce me by his ex-wife -- and then we grabbed hands, and ran toward the exit and I kept thinking if I can only get him to the car... and then, as they say, I woke up.

My therapist says these "dream changes" are a good sign that the therapy is working. Though, to me, the first dream felt more like an actual visitation instead of a dream.

My last session was especially hard -- a lot of emotions/memories came through that I wasn't expecting. Especially rage. Rage at Bob's family, the way they treated him in life and the way they totally disrespected him (and our marriage) after his death...  I wasn't prepared to feel any of this, pretty much thought I'd gotten over it -- but guess it was all just buried inside and came spewing out like so much vomit.

I am skipping this week's session as Hillary and I are going to a U2 concert (my all time favorite band) -- and hoping this will keep me feeling a bit "high" this week, and not wanting to break that spell.


4 comments:

Lauda said...

I hope you continue to have dreams of Bob that are happy. He would love that I am sure.

Stephany Harvey said...

That is so wonderful to hear. EMDR digs up some ugly shit we thought was dead and buried. This time, it will be. Enjoy your concert. If you EVER get a chance to see the Happy Together tour, grab those tickets, take friends, and pack cough drops. You'll sing yourself hoarse. (Except, don't go to a casino to see them. The casino bosses cut the show short, so the gamblers don't stay away long.)

Keep posting.

Vindi Vin said...

Hello Diane, Once again great to hear about yet another successful session. It's good you are going out to a concert, music is healing too, it's good medicine. Enjoy yourself!

Barb Polan said...

Have a blast seeing U2. And keep on dreaming!