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Sunday, December 2, 2012

A River of Vodka, A River of Tears

Here's Bob's latest drawing which he calls: "A River of Vodka"

(click to enlarge)
He has been working on this one since summer and today pronounced it "done" but I could tell something was not right, so I asked him, "What's wrong?" At which point, he pointed to the drawing and announced, "Sucks!"

When I told him that I did not think this drawing "sucked", that in fact, it was darn good for someone who was formerly right-handed and now drawing with his left hand, and I loved the title and thought the drawing was pretty cool, he just rolled his eyes.

So I guess he's not happy with this drawing. But it's good know his artistic "inner critic" is still alive and kicking.

Bob usually spends his mornings drawing, but this past week he has been dealing with bouts of depression. Some mornings I find him crying a river of tears, when I ask him what's wrong, he says, "I'm sad" and when I ask him why, he just points to his paralyzed arm, leg and mouth and says, "Gone." I have been worried about him. And of course, his mood deeply affects mine (see my previous rather pathetic post, ha!). And yes, he is taking medication.... and I don't know what else to do.

I do hope it's just a passing phase. We have been dealt some blows lately. The dismal swallow test, for one. Plus this past week, Rehab cancelled both of his appointments because of a paperwork problem, which I hope will be cleared up soon and pray that this does not mean there is a problem with his financial aid. I do know that Bob loves going to Rehab and it's been a big disappointment for him not to go this week.

Meanwhile, if anyone out there thinks this new drawing doesn't "suck", I'm sure Bob would be cheered to hear that! Leave a comment and I'll pass it along.


oc2dean said...

I love the title and the guy in the center laughing

Anonymous said...

Hell I can't write my name with my left hand after the stroke.
Now look at his ability
Great job

Marcus's mom said...

Bob, this is a great drawing. It has a lot of precision, shading, and the patience it took to draw it shows your brain is working on learning detail and composition. This drawing was no easy feat. Keep up the good work. Drawing helps release your stress, your depression, and encourages your brain to build new pathways to be able to express yourself.
Hope, Health, and Happiness,

Anonymous said...

As a hemmoraghic stroke survivor married to a lefty redhead your drawing is awesome!

Anonymous said...


I think your drawings are amazing, and someday you will be able to explain all of them. I hope Diane is keeping all of them so that they can eventually be published!


Anonymous said...

I have been amazed at every one of his drawings, and am so again with this one. To think that he is doing so with his left hand, post stroke, and with the inner strength needed to do so, makes me proud to know him and his abilities. I too believe all of his drawings have an artistic value that should be looked at for publishing.

I do hope and pray his PT can continue with no problems.

Hugs, Dan

barbpolan said...

Bob, you are extremely gifted, as anyone can tell from this inspired drawing.
And you are extremely fortunate to have Diane.

Diane and Bob, when I'm sad, I'm sad, and I don't want those around me to say things to stop me from crying. Sometimes I just want to cry, so I tend to cry alone, as it seems Bob does. As you know, it's very sad for all of us survivors to have lost what we've lost, and for causing our loved ones to have lost what they've lost. Sometimes I am sad, sad, sad, but that doesn't make me depressed, just sad.

Rebecca Dutton said...

Is it possible for Bob to sit outside at home for 10 minutes? Sunlight on my face always improves my mood.

Willowangel said...

Bob, I see the magic in your drawing. The magic that is in your heart extended outward on paper. Be blessed by your talent as you bless others with your drawings.

Dahn and Susan

Jenn said...

Um, Bob? Your newest art does NOT suck. Just so ya know.
Diane? Sometimes a side effect of an anti-depressant is....depression. Yes, I said that. Reading the info on the anti-depressant my mom is on actually listed that! Crazy, ain't it? : p

Anonymous said...

Bob, I know you keep saying "gone" but I do not see it as "gone". Just different. Remember Dali? David and I love the title of this one :) Never stop drawing or dreaming.

Your sister in law, Karen

GirlWithTheCane said...

I think it's a great picture, especially considering that Bob's drawing with his non-dominant hand! I can relate to the frustration of that, since my stroke put me in the same boat...

Being sad is okay. Every time life takes a different turn that we thought it would, it's natural to mourn for the things that we thought we were looking forward to and that we fear may no longer happen. But there's a lot that life still has in store for you, Bob - maybe even a career as an artist! You never know...