Answering Machines & Aphasia...

It was bound to happen, our old cordless telephone bit the dust, bought the big one, just up and died...

And the sad thing about that is -- on the old answering machine was Bob's "greeting" recorded over 7 years ago which was, back in the day, when he could actually speak normally...

This past week, I took Bob to Best Buy to look for a new phone. And while I stood there in front of the tons of different phones trying to figure out which would be the best phone, Bob, in his wheelchair, pointed to the top row and said, "That one!"

So I bought it. Took it home. Set it up. And then had a brilliant idea. (Think lightbulb over my head!)

I would have Bob record the new greeting!

Now I realized we would probably have to rehearse and do some trial runs, but, heck, after six months of speech therapy and everyone is remarking on how much better he is speaking, I am thinking this should be a cinch!

If, that is, I keep it simple enough.

Such as: "Hello! Leave a message."

Which I had Bob rehearse a few times with some success, and then, got out the phone and hit "record", at which point Bob said into the receiver:

Hello?...... Hello?...... Hellllooooo?..... Hell-lou?

Oh-kay. I tried this a couple of times and got the same results. So then, I figured, maybe it would work better if we recorded a joint message, you know, with both of us talking but me saying most of the stuff.

So I wrote up a little script and it went like this:

Me:  Hi! You've reached Diane and ---

Bob: Bob

Me: Leave a message!

Bob: Bye!

Seemed simple enough as Bob would only have to remember two words. But after several, well actually many, futile attempts, with Bob forgetting his lines, the last "greeting" I actually recorded sounds like this:

Me: Hi! You've reached Diane and --

Bob: BOB!!!!

Me: Please leave a message!

Bob: DIANE!!!

Me: (trying not to laugh, so sort of snort-laughing through my nose)  No, say "Bye"!

Bob: ..... (no response)

Me: (now laughing very hard still waiting for a response)

Bob: ..... (no response)

Me:  (Still laughing) Hellooo?

Bob: .... (laughter)

Me: Bye bye

Bob: BYE BYE!!!!

And that's what's on the answering this morning. I played it back to Bob and he said, "FUNNY!"

Perhaps, I'll keep it....