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Wednesday, April 26, 2017

What the heck?

I've had trouble getting access to my own blog == finally got on here -- after 9-10 attempts --- what the heck is going on? Kept asking for passwords and then saying they were invalid --- huh? I haven't changed a thing --- Also had trouble posting on Facebook.  Also had sound issues -- couldn't hear some Youtube posts. Even Amazon was denying my account and had to diddle around to get that up at and going ---- what is going on?  Anyhoo since I finally got on here so this is a "test" post to see if it will work! -- We are ready for bedtime -- my BYD (Big Yellow Dog) and huge teddy bear with Bob's Superman T-shirt are already in bed -- Ripley will join us when lights are out  -- heck, hardly room for me!  But -- what is going on with access to internet? Is it my computer? or the whole system?
Kona and Super Bear ready for bedtime!

Monday, April 17, 2017

Still Grieving

I know it's been awhile since I posted -- I haven't because I'm still in deep grief. Next month will be the 2 year anniversary of Bob's passing --- and I can't believe it's been that long, seems like only yesterday, then sometimes feels like 100 years ago... I am still in somewhat of a state of shock, can't believe he's gone...

I just try to get by --- day by day....

Am going to counseling, seeing a shrink, taking Xanax.....

Taking care of my dog, cat, Chris's two fish (still alive, surprise!) -- I swim every day in the pool as weather permits. Kona is the Evil Queen of Tennis Balls, you should see her dive in the pool after them. At least, she can make me laugh.

Still missing Bob so much. My heart still shattered. Am reading a lot of "grief healing" books ---
And trying to heal -- if that is possible.

Sorry this blog is so quiet.

Almost scared to post here -- as I think everyone has forgotten about me, or doesn't care anymore.....


Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Searching for Louise

Yesterday, Kona and I walked to the nearest lake (about 7 blocks away) and took a long walk around the perimeter of the lake looking for Louise. We saw all different types of ducks, coots, geese, turtles, snakebirds, herons, egrets -- but no Louise. And then, Kona was nearly attacked by a very mad white goose. I was losing hope, 3/4 around the lake, and still no Louise. In fact, I hate to admit, but I was nearly in tears.

So I said to Bob, "Sweetheart, if you truly sent those ducks to me, please show me a sign that she is here or find her and send to somewhere I can see her, please!  I just want to know she and her babies are okay."

And Kona and I continued walking, searching the water, when I noticed some graffiti on a culvert on the lake's edge that I had never noticed before:

So I stopped there, searching the water near this culvert which was filled with lily pads and reedy water plants and murky and didn't see anything except a turtle.

So I sat down.

Waited.

Watched the lake.

And in the distance, about 30 feet away, a duck's head popped out of the water lilies and my heart skipped a beat and she swam out of the lilies and it was, my god, I thought, Louise -- but I wasn't quite sure as she was far from me, but then I saw the ducklings and I knew it was her. The ducklings were swimming in and out of the lilies so fast and the best count I got was six of them at once, but hopefully, the other three were under the lilies.

Louise and ducklings, happy and safe!
All I can say is she is one lucky duck to have made it through the busy streets to that lake -- or perhaps she had some spirit guides!!


Update March 29: went back to the lake today and saw Louise plus at least 7 ducklings, maybe 8. Some guy saw me watching and came over to see the ducklings and commented on them, I said, "Those are my ducks!" and he looked at me like a crazy lady -- ha! So had to explain the whole story -- and then he told there's an otter in this lake that eats ducklings --- eeeeeeeek! Didn't need to hear that.

Praying for a white light protecting these duckies from The Evil Otter.

I know this pic isn't clear --- but I am counting at least 7 here!

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Vanished!

video
On Saturday morning, I went to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and was shocked to look out my back door (which is glass) and see Mama duck with all her babies circling her, standing at my back door looking at me through the window! So cute, they waddled all the way up the wheelchair ramp to get to my back door --- wish I'd taken a photo --- but just thought, jeepers, you guys must hungry so I went out and fed them.

That day, I was helping my friend Hillary move and when I came back later that afternoon, the ducks were still there. But 45 minutes later, when I went out to feed them, they were all gone -- simply vanished!

I, of course, checked all over the yard. Walked down the alley -- nothing. Finally got in my car, drove to the nearby lake, worried --- but didn't see any dead ducks on the busy streets --- didn't find her at all.

Waited today, all day, and they haven't come back.....

Mixed emotions here:  worried about their safety, sad to see them gone, relieved that I don't have to transport them myself.

And then I think that Louise (mama duck) was at my back door that morning, proud mama surrounded by her babies, to say "goodbye" or perhaps "thanks for your hospitality" knowing she would be leaving that day....

(The above video was the last "picture" I took of them....)

Friday, March 24, 2017

A New Use for a Slideboard

I took Bob's slideboard which we used to transfer from wheelchair to bed etc. stapled towels to it and made a non-slip ramp so the ducklings can get out of the pool. It works!