Total Pageviews

Sunday, January 15, 2017

January 16th ---- Bob's 58th Birthday

I love you, will always love you, and you will live in my heart forever.
And I am blessed for having known you and having loved you.
And having known your love for me -- the greatest gift of all.
Happy Birthday, sweetheart.
I miss you, but we will meet again.

January 16, 1959 - May 28, 2015

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Still no Santa photo from PetSmart

Grrrr ---- they lost the photo --- So these will have to do!


Heck, who needs Santa when your dog is this cute?   Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

The Santa Claus Escapade

Last week, I heard that PetSmart was offering free photos of Santa with your pet and I thought, wow, I'll take Kona and won't that be cute to post a picture of her with Santa on my blog. And, I was feeling up to this little adventure as the Xanax seems to be working....

So we go to PetSmart and the place is packed and we stand in line for 45 minutes waiting for Santa --- ahead of us are 18 dogs and one possum.

Yes, a possum.  Which was actually a baby possum and hence very cute.

So we wait, and wait, and finally it's our turn.

Now Santa is sitting on what looks like a bench covered with decorative X-mas fabric, next to the bench is a Christmas tree -- and the bench is a bit high but I think Kona should be able to jump up and I pat the bench and tell her "hup up!" which is a phrase she knows when I want her to get in the car, etc.

Kona follows my directions and put her front paws on the bench and attempts to jump up on it but it's a bit high for her and in her attempt to get up --- her front paws get caught in the fabric and she pulls the whole shebang off the bench and slides in a heap with the fabric to the floor.

That's when I realize the bench is actually a table and the table top is a slippery formica.

Well, this is a bit embarrassing, but Santa comes to the rescue and after rearranging the fabric on the bench, Kona attempts to jump up again and this time I give her back legs a boost and even then she's having trouble, scrambling about on the slippery surface -- so Santa gives her a BIG boost and she's up! but she's sliding and slides right behind Santa Claus.

And she won't come out. Kona suddenly wants nothing to do with this whole situation. But we've gotten this far and waited this long so I coax her out and calm her down and put her in a "sit stay".

So there she sits, staring at me, looking for all intents and purposes like she's going to bolt at any second but she's following my command like a good girl and I'm holding my hand up like a cop, repeating "Stay! Stay!" and walking backward so the PetSmart employee can snap the photo.

The photo is taken and the employee shows me the picture on an I-pad and I look at it and Kona looks cute even though she is totally ignoring Santa and staring at me. The employee says "How's that?"

I reply "Looks OK" rather forgetting that "OK" is Kona's release word.

Kona (who is still in her 'sit stay' position) hears the magic word "OK" and she bolts off the bench like a banshee -- taking with her all the fabric off the bench and toppling over the Christmas tree!

Kona's bolting toward not me, but a treat bowl on a table which she proceeds to also knock over though fortunately I catch the bowl before it hits the ground and grab Kona's leash.

And after all of that -- after giving all my information to the employee who promises that they will e-mail the picture -- I never got an e-mail.

I called PetSmart twice.  And the last time, a very nice guy spent an awful long time looking on the computer but could not find it....

grrrrr

He'd said he'd call corporate. He also said he would talk to the employees who were there that day to see if they remembered us and so I told him all about the possum (we were two behind the possum) and the x-mas tree and the fabric etc. etc. and he said "that was helpful" and he's sure "someone will remember us" and maybe they can find the photo.

But nothing yet.......

Ho ho ho........

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Derealization

Last week, I had to run to the grocery when I realized I was out of cat food. Since I didn't need much, I decided to go to the small grocery store nearest to our house.  I used to frequent this store quite often when Bob was alive as their pharmacy was small and the pharmacists friendly and they knew me by name and would make sure they had Bob's pain medications ordered for him every month (I had problems with bigger pharmacies like Walgreens with this). Bob had three narcotic pain meds and so I was at this pharmacy at least three times a month.

Lately, however, I've been frequenting a different grocery store, a bit bigger with more selection.

However, on that day, I went to the old store....

And when I entered, something seemed distinctly wrong. Changed. Unfamiliar. That's when I noticed the pharmacy was gone --- and I mean gone -- boarded up, sheet rocked over, disappeared! I even walked over to the pharmacy, where a "closed" sign was posted informing clients that prescriptions had been sent to a different pharmacy.

And that's when it hit me.

I had entered a parallel universe. A different dimension in time and space. You know, one of those dimensions that co-exist next to ours, and much is the same, but little things are different. I had, in fact, entered The Twilight Zone.

And I couldn't help thinking (call me crazy) that I had to desperately get back to my universe, that dimension where surely things would be like the are supposed to be -- and Bob would be there, and Chris, and Zenith and Boomer. And I had to get back there.  I had to get back there NOW.

Because this was all a dream. A very bad dream.

Of course, I realized this feeling was crazy. I mean on some level, I realized this was crazy.  But when I looked around, nothing in this store was familiar.  Everything and everyone was unrecognizable. and unreal.  And I was literally freaking out.

So I figured I would grab the few things I needed (cat food, etc.) and get the hell out of this nightmare.

But I kept getting lost in the aisles.  And when I finally got the heck out of there, I couldn't find the car in the parking at first. When I did, on the drive home everything seemed too bright, too fake, too strange. It felt as if I was in a dream --- or more precisely a nightmare.

Even at home, everything seemed not real in some sort of strange way. I kept thinking of that Talking Heads song, the one that goes "this is not my beautiful house....  how did I get here?"

And for three days, I couldn't bear to leave the house.... and I was sick to my stomach.

When I finally did get up the courage to leave.  The feeling went away.   Sort of.  I'm still a bit shook up.

I talked with my shrink on Monday and she called this episode "derealization disorder" and said it's quite common in people who have suffered a major traumatic event (PTSD) such as Bob's sudden death and all the crap that preceded it. Also can be brought on by excessive stress: i.e. of grief, of the holidays and also the memory of Chris -- who last year at this time had a stroke and I spent Christmas Eve at the hospital with her...

She told me it was a "normal" reaction to all I've been through, triggered by the pharmacy closing --- and actually said she thought I was doing quite well, otherwise, after all I've been through. And then she prescribed Xanax.

Guess I'm just having another mental breakdown here...

Sunday, December 4, 2016

My December Garden

With the weather finally cooling down, my garden has been putting on a really good show. I love this weather. And so do the plants.





And the flamingos love the weather too!