Horrible Day and We Still Don't Know....

So, we went back to Rehab today. Bladder problems were much more controlled, so I thought it would be a good day. The therapist got Bob started out on the bars, and Bob stood up (all on his own) and started to walk down the bars (all on his own) and I got up to get the wheelchair (as I usually push the wheelchair behind him, so he can sit down at the end of the bars) but the therapist gave me a look and shook his head "no".

So I sat back down.

When Bob got to the end of the bars, the therapist told Bob had needed to turn around and head back on his own. He's never done this before.

Bob stood there, unsure of what to do.

So, the therapist got beside him and took Bob's left hand and picked it up off the left bar, and told Bob to grab onto the other bar on his right side. Bob started to shake. Bob tried to put his hand on the other bar. His knees began to buckle and it looked like he was about to fall but finally, he grasped the other bar with his left hand.

Now, he's standing all twisted like a pretzel, still facing the end of the bars, with his hand on the right sided bar and the therapist tells him to move his feet.

And he can't.

He just can't.

It's like he's frozen in place.

He begins to shake and tremble and suddenly, he's crumpling to the ground.

The therapist runs to him and holds him up and tries to shove his feet around in the right position, all the while Bob is sinking toward the ground, his knees buckling and his whole body shaking. And oh, it is just terrible to watch. The therapist is trying to hold him up and shouts at me to grab a chair and I run and grab an office chair and drag it into the bars.

And finally, the therapist gets him into the chair. But Bob's so shook up, just literally trembling all over, he can't stop shaking, and sweat is pouring off him. I mean, he's dripping wet.

And he couldn't stop shaking.

And he couldn't really do anything else for the rest of the therapy session. He's so freaked out.

We still don't know if he is discharged as of tomorrow or what, because the female therapist (the one who makes the decision) is still on vacation or something. And today certainly hasn't gone well.

So, we went home. Poor Bob was just a mess. Peed his pants and everything. I get him home and into bed and am changing his diaper and all his clothes, I have him naked and am washing him down with a cool wash rag when the phone rings.

And it's Bob's mother.

And she tells me she's read my blog and just cannot believe I allow Bob to smoke a few cigarettes a day and tells me I should stop this immediately and what-are-you-trying-do? give-him-another-stroke? And she pretty much reads me the riot act. And pretty much makes me feel like shit. And then I'm thinking, who are you to tell me what to do when you haven't offered even one iota of help here?....

So, all around, it's been a pretty upsetting day.

He's asleep now. So tuckered out. And I have been sitting alone, pretty much just crying and then thought I'd just post this note.

We go back to Rehab tomorrow and see what happens next.