Weekend Workshop

So, I went to a two day workshop at the end of January recommended to me by my grief counselor. The workshop was run by John Holland, an internationally known medium and author, and though I had never read his books, I had heard about him through other books I've read.

The workshop was not too far away, and consisted of Friday evening 7-9 p.m. and Saturday 10-5 p.m. The Friday event was "An Evening With Spirit" where John would relay messages from spirit to members of the audience and the Saturday workshop was centered around learning to use your own physic abilities. Both sounded very interesting, but then my driving anxiety came up.

I managed to find someone to go with me on Friday, and she would drive, so I signed for that one right away. Afterwards, I debated the Saturday workshop, it wasn't too far of a drive and I figured if I was too freaked out to drive on my own, I could always call a taxi. (I didn't know if Kona would tolerate that long of a day.... and didn't want to be disrupted if she got antsy.) So I signed up for the Saturday workshop on my own.

Then another friend decided to sign up for both workshops, and I thought, phew! She could drive the second day, but then found out she had just had shoulder surgery and her doctor told her she couldn't drive. And would need me to pick her up -- and she lives waaaay across town. Yikes.

I spent a whole therapy session talking about my driving anxieties and ways to get through this. We made a plan, since Hillary (who was going to the evening workshop) was driving, picking me up and then picking up our friend. I would take copious notes so I would be familiar with the route. Then I would get up early on Saturday, do some "visualizations" and tapping on my anxiety before leaving to pick her up.

Well, that plan got screwed up when Hillary lost her phone, which of course had her GPS on it and she thought she knew how to get there, but then we got totally lost and ended up at some Bait shop asking for directions. So much for that idea.

Plan B, that my therapist mentioned, was just to be up front about my driving anxieties and maybe Laura (the friend who was attending both workshops) could find her own way there.

After finally picking up Laura on Sat. evening, I was a basket case thinking about how I was going to handle the next day. I did google map the route (but unfortunately didn't take the directions with me that evening, but sort of remembered the main streets) and asked Laura if the way I had decided (least traffic) would work, and on our way home, Hillary drove the route I suggested with Laura giving directions. Still it was dark out and still, I wasn't sure I could do it. Hillary suggested Laura take an Uber then Laura said she has anxiety about getting into a car with a stranger! What about a taxi -- couldn't afford that  -- and she said to me, "If I don't show up tomorrow, you'll know why."

So okay -- I'm decided to be brave and was going to try this, but everything went haywire in the morning, my alarm failed to go off and I overslept. So no time to do the visualization meditation or tapping, just rush rush to get ready and then I called Laura and asked her if it was okay if I brought my dog.

So basically, I cheated. I drove with Kona to pick Laura up and then we dropped Kona off at home. Then on the way home from the workshop, we picked Kona up so that I could drive home with her. My therapist said "don't call it cheating, call it being creative."

Anyway, made the workshop, of course was praying Bob would come through at the group reading, but he didn't. The next day was very interesting, we worked on feeling auras around people and objects, and how to do a "medical intuition scan" and how to recognize signs from the other side from our loved ones and a lot of other interesting stuff. And through the workshop, John (the medium) would once in awhile stop by someone and give them a quick reading, i.e. "I see your mother next to you," and give a message but, of course, nothing for me.  Still I'm glad I went.

A couple days after the workshop, my Aunt Betty called me on the phone. This would be my father's older sister. And we had a pretty long conversation, as her husband has been in a wheelchair since the 1950's and we talked about their wheelchair van which seems to be on it's last legs and other caregiving things, then she asked me what I had been up to and I told her about the workshop and then I said (well nearly said, the only problem was the Bob didn't fucking show up!) but caught myself, thinking this is my Aunt and I probably shouldn't use the F-bomb, so I said instead "The only problem was that Bob bleeping show up!"

Then the phone went dead. Or so I thought. Complete silence. Then, I thought, oh my goodness, I've upset her just using the word "bleeping" and she hung up on me. And then I said "Hello?" No answer. Then "Hello?" again and then my Aunt says to me, "Diane? Didn't you just hear that?"

Hear what? I told her I heard nothing, dead silence.

She said, "Right after you said 'Bob didn't bleeping show up' there was a very loud  BLEEEEEEP! and it sounded like it was coming from your phone."

She laughed and said, "I guess Bob did bleeping show up!"

Well, after I hung up the phone, I was thinking about this and then I started to get a little angry. Well, you know, anger is part of grief. So there I am, literally, yelling at the walls ---

"GOD DAMN IT, BOB! I PAID ALL THIS MONEY TO SEE THIS INTERNATIONALLY KNOWN MEDIUM AND YOU DON'T GOD DAMN SHOW UP! AND THEN THEN YOU BLEEP AT MY AUNT AND NOT ME!!!!!"

I was so mad, I actually kicked my shoe across the room. Fortunately, it didn't hit anything.

And the strangest thing, the next morning, I woke up, did my usual routine, let the dog out, start the coffee, feed the cat, feed the dog and as I was going to get a second cup of coffee I walked by my bedroom and noticed the digital clock read 8:13 a.m. And thought, gee, I didn't think it was that early. When I went into the kitchen, I noticed that digital clock read 10:25. And the coffee maker digital clock read 9:18. And every single digital clock in my house had a different time on it, none of them right.

My watch was right, but that's battery operated...

I can figure no logical explanation except, I guess, Bob did bleeping show up. So I told him, I was sorry I yelled at him.

And by the way, if you ever get a chance to see John Holland, I highly recommend it! He was great.