This Christmas was the first Christmas I ever spent alone. In my entire life. Both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
Before, of course, when Bob was alive we spent Christmas together. Before that, I spent Christmas with my family up north, 1400 miles away.
After Bob died, I spent Christmas with my friends, our widow's group got together on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I went out for lunch or dinner with a friend....
This year -- nothing.
Everyone seems to have moved on, especially the widows, which were 5 of us, and now 3 have boyfriends and whatever....
I did, however, go to a very nice Hanukkah party at a neighbor's house which was fun and something I've never have done in my life before, and I enjoyed that, that was a week or so before Christmas....
I suppose I could've tried to travel and get a flight back home, but my anxiety levels are so high about traveling and simply can't even comprehend trying that yet, plus it's COLD up there ... I hope you understand, this isn't a pity party -- it just the facts...
Christmas Eve day, the guy finally showed up to fix my solar panel valve on the roof of the garage for the pool and, while up on the roof - he broke a couple of roof shingles I'd just had replaced!!! GAAAAA!!! Called the roofing company, said they'd get back to me after Christmas.... still haven't heard back from them...
Anyway on Christmas Eve, I ordered a pizza. Bob and I used to do that -- it was our Christmas Eve tradition. Before the pizza arrived I made up a plate of Wisconsin cheese and crackers (sent from my mom and dad) and that's also what Bob and I used to do, eat Wisconsin cheese (sent from my mom and dad) and crackers, order pizza, open presents on Christmas Eve.
Back in old days, we didn't have a TV -- but we sat by the fireplace on Christmas Eve. And talked and listened to the radio....
This Christmas, did the pizza, cheese and then I watched some classic Christmas movies (A Christmas Story, It's a Wonderful Life) with Kona and Ripley snuggled on top of me.
So I wasn't totally alone.
It was weird, but I did it, and survived, now just get through New Year's alone.....
8 comments:
It seems as though you had an enjoyable Christmas. Happy New Year! I'll be thinking of you.
HAPPY NEW YEAR Diane! My keyboard died on my laptop. Typing via on screen keyboard and I thought typing one handed sucked!
Remember..you may be without Bob, (you have Kona and Ripley so you are not physically alone, although they can never replace Bob), but you are never truly alone. God is always with you (our heavenly father) and so are your friends and people who love you. Even when friends and family cannot be there physically for you (everyone must live their life and journey), you are in their hearts. You may feel alone and are still grieving which is natural, but you are not alone. Time does not stand still. People come in and out of your life for a reason. If someone is not in your life, they are no longer meant to be there, regardless of how painful it may feel. Just know I love you.
I feel as you do. I wish I had my husband. A closer relationship with my children. I feel lonely. I have my dogs and friends. When I feel very down, I pray to God and thank him for all the blessings in my life. A house to live in, food to eat, helping me with my business, not living in a war-torn part of the world, having clothing on my back, allowing me to try to help others with their pets and themselves. I ask God to help me to become a stronger person, a kinder person, a patient person, an understanding person, a forgiving person, help me with my anxieties and fears. I fail every day, but then I restart every morning...a new day, another day to become a better human being. We are here for a person, to make the world a better place in whatever way we can. When you try to reach out and help others in whatever way you can, it takes your mind off your own problems. Their is a feeling of joy when you give to others and make a positive difference in their life. I do believe that we can choose to be happy, have a positive attitude in the midst of pain and annoyances. I have suffered from depression, trauma and loss too, so I am not belittling what you are feeling. But you can come out of this and heal and I do believe if you set your mind to it (you are a strong person) you will.
We are here for a reason (not person) typo
And I am proud of your accomplishments and the growth I see in you every day. So happy that you are writing your book, going to writer workshops, addressing your anxieties and fears.
PS I am not illerate....the mistakes above are due to not proof reading and not editing..... lol
Here was my New Year's eve day....
I wanted to be home resting, hanging out with my dogs, writing the Christmas Cards I never finished
I started the day out with a flat tire (a nail from the construction next door pierced it)
I had 6 emergency house calls
I had to change a bandage on a German Shepherd who ran into a piece of glass and lost so much blood almost required a blood transfusion (It is a miracle the dog is alive) Imagine what this client went through
I had to put a dog to sleep who was dying
I went to a client who has dementia and 3 dogs. One dog was attacked by her other dog and the client thought the leg was broken. Because this client threw me out of her house once and called be a B and a C previously I was afraid of her, but needed to help the dog so I went to the police who escorted to me to her house and waited for me to make sure I was safe. Fortunately the dog's leg was not broken, but just bruised and swollen so I treated it with pain meds.
I had to go see a cat who wasn't feeling well and wanted to kill me. But I treated him!
I saw and elderly man and his dog who has heart disease. He accidentally mixed up all the medication in the bottles and I spent a good hour on pill identifier trying to identify each pill as there are so many generics I cannot always eye them and figure it out and some pill are so small I needed to use a jewelers loop to see the markings
We got everything straightened out and I hope it stays that way. His dog was stable and adorable.
I had to return phone calls from clients or other people who needed help.
I was alone (not really...God was with me) and wanting to get home before the fireworks because my dogs needed me and their dinner......
I got home just in time. Fed the dogs. Then the fireworks started. My phone died (a blessing). We watched 'That's Entertainment' on Turner Broadcasting
And we all fell asleep soundly, me with my clothes on.....way before midnight.....
A day in the life of a mobile veterinarian.....
Hillary, you need to start your own blog "A Day in the Life of a Mobile Vet"! Hope today was better. Happy New Year everyone!
❤️��
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