So quickly, BIG step: A friend & neighbor (love you Sharron) picked up three bags of Bob's old clothes and took them to the thrift shop that benefits the local women's shelter.... I cried, but without her actually taking them, I don't know if I could've done it. Bagged them up about a year ago, since they have just sat there...
Another BIG step: I joined a church. You read that right. A church -- who me? Church? Me -- the recovering Catholic, former agnostic, atheist, deist, nonconformist, anti-organized religionist groups --- me? Church? Jeepers!
Though this is not the usual type of church. This is A Spiritualist Church, the Reverend is a medium. It's a small church, maybe 7 people show up, most I've seen is 20 people, little place, kind of run down, but my kind of people and before each service starts there is a healing (reiki) if you want to do that and the service "ends" with mediumship readings --- i.e. messages from the spirit world.
Well, actually the service officially ends with everyone holding hands and singing that song that goes "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me...." You know the one.
First time I attended, Kona was so disoriented, and so was I so she's looking at me for direction and I have no clue what to expect. You know, Kona and I -- we did a lot of "public access" training for her service dog license but never a church. So all through the service, when you are asked to "rise" I stand up, Kona takes that as a clue: "oh we're leaving" and starts for the door. Then I sit back down, and she's confused.
Doesn't help, the church is dog friendly (well actually that's nice but...) there is always this white dog there, who constantly barks at Kona -- and Kona gets very excited. (My anxiety control dog now needs an anxiety control dog! ha)
And we certainly never had dog training in a group of people holding hands and singing.
Anyway, try this sometime: Hold hands in a circle, with one of your hands in another person's and also hanging onto a leash. Your other hand is holding the person's hand on the other side of you....
So there we are, first time attending, me and Kona (not understanding what the heck is going on) as we are singing "Let there be peace on earth, etc." I look down and see Kona sniffing the guy's crotch next to me! Ga! I try to pull her back, but mind you, I have my hand in his hand and the leash too -- so can't really jerk the dog back with her leash without jerking the guy's hand and certainly don't want to shout "NO!" mid-song, finally manage, with my foot to get Kona to look at me and she comes back, but circles behind me and the next thing I know, Kona is behind me and has her nose up the skirt of the woman on the other side of me. GA!
Fortunately, no one said anything....
And we've gone about 5 times, still getting used to it. Giving it a chance...
No steps: Still two boxes of Bob's clothes in the closet... not going anywhere soon.....
Baby step: My mother has been bugging me about putting Christmas decorations up. Haven't done a darn thing, except buy a couple of pine scented candles. It's just too sad. Bob loved Christmas decorations so much -- loved putting up the lights etc. everything about it, reminds me that he's not here... anyway
Saturday, Hillary and I went to a Victorian Christmas Stroll at a local museum (which was lovely) and, at the gift shop, I bought a Christmas tree!!
As you can see, it's a really big one! Ripley seems to like it....
Just trying to get through the holidays.....
2 comments:
The Christmas season is really hard for a lot of people (for a lot of reasons). Be gentle with yourself, and try to find some joy, even if it seems insignificant. Merry Christmas.
I left my Christmas in the boxes this year. WRG on finding a church that fits you.
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