Some Mornings...

If I could edit my life, the way a writer edits a story,  I'd start this post out like this:

Yesterday, I woke to the delightful sound of birds chirping outside my window...

But, unfortunately, I cannot edit my life, so truth be told, this post will start like this:

Yesterday, I woke to the sound of Bob having a bowel movement. So, of course, I bolted out of bed, first went into the bathroom to change into the sweats and sneakers that I wear for walking the dog and then gathered all the supplies needed to clean up the mess. And it was a mess as I had given him a laxative the night before as, once again, he's been constipated. But I managed to get him clean, and get a clean, fresh pad installed beneath him and just when I was going to fetch a fresh pair of Depends, GAAAA! He goes again. All over the bed.

Which is enough to make me cry.

But I didn't. And I manage to get him cleaned up again, and get him into a fresh pair of Depends and install another fresh, clean bed pad under him.  And now I have two filthy bed pads soaking in bleach in the washing machine, not to mention shit smears down the front of the washing machine which I still have to clean up. I had just taken the second plastic grocery bag of poop out to the garbage can, when I return into the house and oh crap! I mean that quite literally, as that was what I stepped in.

Of course, I wanted to kill Boomer, but I didn't, because all this morning clean-up has made me run way behind schedule and the poor dog had been waiting patiently for his morning walk until then...

So now, I'm cleaning up dog poop on top of Bob poop, plus I've got poop squished into the treads of my sneakers -- and there's nothing worse than that. But I get it all cleaned up, and take a third grocery bag of poop out to the garbage can, and when I return to the house, I figure I'd better go the bathroom myself before walking the dog, and I walk into the bathroom only to find, GAAAAA! that one of the cats has missed the litter box....

Oh boy. I tell you, some mornings... and it makes me wonder: what exactly did I do in a former life that I deserve this???

Which brings us to this morning, when I woke to the sound of Bob screaming because his catheter had backed up all over the bed and then I go into the kitchen only to find--- well...  Actually, I think I will edit this:

Today, I woke to the delightful sound of birds chirping outside my window...