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Wednesday, March 30, 2022

Synchronicity: Book and Hand

So the big news is I finished my book, i.e. the memoir! Well, I typed those magical words "The End". And of course, now I will have to tear it to shreds (Kill Your Darlings as they say) on a re-write.... It's too long, really needs some amputation...  But! This has been a long time coming with so many detours (grief, being kicked out of that writer's group, my sister's death, then my broken hand, the whole settling of the estate, 3 hand surgeries, other crappy stuff) so --- phew!

I was dreading writing that final chapter, which is set in the year 2015 -- a year that started so well and ended so horribly. I really couldn't bring myself to relive it again. Heck I spent more than five years in therapy dealing with it. I suffered PTSD from that damn year. Went through EMDR and EFT therapies to deal with anxiety issues caused by the events of 2015. I just could not relive it again. I couldn't write it on a blank page (or screen if you will).

Then, I thought, hey, just use my blog and my personal journal and pick out passages and copy from there.

Which is what I did. Printed off blog posts. Propped up my handwritten journal. Told myself, don't think, just type. 

And I did. Just type. Typing, copying words I already had written.

While typing I realised that I was actually typing. I mean not-looking-at-my-fingers-or-keyboard typing. My left hand NOT straying off the keyboard as usual since my hand surgeries.  And I was typing FAST! I was almost afraid to look at the computer screen -- imagining all sorts of garbage, gibberish, typos -- but when I looked, it was perfect. I was back at my 120 words per minute speed/error free mode. Typing!

I was amazed! I got my hand back! I can type again. I don't know how long it's been to see that darn left hand flying across the keyboard without a mistake and working like it should. Two years? Or so...   

Well, it's good to have my hand back. So damn good. 

Though I must admit, I still can't pick up small things with it. Like dropped pills, or spilled cat kibble or a nail on the floor. But hell, that's what the other hand is for and I'd rather be able to type than anything else.

You can't imagine how happy this makes me. And at the same time "finish" the book. A coincidence?

And a day or so after I wrote those magical two words "The End" -- my computer bombed! ha!! But I was able to save the manuscript, so all is well. 

Now the memoir is on back burner for a minute or more, while I get ready to edit it.... 

4 comments:

Lauda said...

Hi Diane - I have been following you for years nowI am soo happy to hear you finished your book - I for one am dying to read it. I enjoy your writings so much. Can you believe how long it's been? My husband had his stroke in January 2010 and I first got to know you in the Caregivers Support Group. You were a bright shiny star in that group. I've been here through all you trials and mishaps.
My husband is now 12 years a survivor and is hemiplegic and his condition has remained the same for the most part. Though I did start out caring for him - 3 years in to it I was suicidal and had to move him to assisted living. He has done well in assisted living. I spend almost every afternoon with him. We just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary.
I try not to question what would life be like had this not happened. In a way it seems to have kept us together as we were going through a rough patch when he had his stroke.
He truly is the love of my life even though he is not always easy.
I thank you for your presence in my life.
My best to you and your family.
Love
Lauda

Anonymous said...

Wow -- that is great that you finished it. I love reading, but unlike all my friends and acquaintances who also love reading, I'm the only one who pretty much only reads non-fiction -- specifically memoirs. So... I will definitely buy your memoir if you publish it. Good luck with the editing. Great about your hand!

Lynne in CT

Diane said...

Thanks Lynne and bless you Lauda.

It's going take some time to do the edits, find an agent or publisher or self-publish... one step at a time.

tgorety said...

Hello from South Texas. So happy for you !!!! It's been quite the journey of life for you girl. But, you are a determined lady and all of us that have been following you for all these years know that you could and would!!!
Trudy from Texas