May has always been a bad month for me as it marks Bob's death anniversary, something that will forever be engraved in my mind. Also this May, there's war, inflation, shortages and a school shooting. Outside my normal high anxiety in the month of May, the countdown if you will to "death day", other stuff has been going on. Here's a recap:
Good News: Ripley's medication has stabilised his hyperthyroidism.
Bad News: That means two pills daily for the rest of his life. If you've ever had to give a cat a pill you know what a pain in the ass that can be. Also regular blood and urine tests to make sure he's still stable. A lot of them for the first year... every so many months (I forget, 3 months? I think) As there is a possibility of renal failure.... and/or meds stop working or have to be adjusted.
Good News: Ripley loves cheese, so after trying multiple things, I've been "rolling" his pills in "Europe's Leading Cheese Expert President Pub Cheese" Sharp Cheddar, spreadable, aged 9 months, with milk and cream. So far he loves it! Gobbles it up! Fingers crossed, he'll continue to and I can find this stuff again. (There was only one on the shelf when I purchased it.)
Good News: Ripley is cleared for surgery. June 14th.
Bad News: Ripley is cleared for surgery and I am worried sick. He has to fast (no food) after midnight the night before. He's going to hate me when breakfast should be served... he's going to see Kona eating breakfast and wonder where his is... poor little-big guy (18 lbs.) and of course I am worried about the surgery itself. Surviving the procedure. Worried the cyst may be cancer. And Zenith died in June of 2015 post-surgery and that is never far from my mind.
Good News: They can do the surgery in our backyard. The mobile cat hospital has a huge RV outfitted like an actual clinic. So I just have to take Ripley out the backdoor, hand him over, and wait.... They will be removing the cyst on his head and a broken tooth.
Bad News: It's going to be very very expensive....
Good News: My father just got a hospital bed delivered to their home. He loves it.
Bad News: My father just got a hospital bed.... and I worry about him. I am feeling pressured to travel 1400 miles to visit and honestly, in my emotional/mental state, with everything going on with Ripley, I am in no shape to do that... and feel guilty as hell.
Good News: Lost 15 lbs a few months ago!
Bad News: Gained 15 lbs back. grrr
Good News: Kona's ear infection cleared up. Finally! She's on a new immunotherapy, hoping this one will do the trick.
Bad News: My manuscript sits in a steaming pile on my desk. Haven't been able to look at it.
Good News: The raccoon(s) are gone from the pool. And haven't seen a snake since they applied the snake repellent.
Bad News: I feel like I'm back at Stage 1 in the Grief Process. Having panic attacks. Having derealisation episodes. Trouble sleeping. Nightmares. Breaking out in tears for no real reason. And general fatigue and depression.
Well, that's about it. It's been up and down.
For now.
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