Signs

 Bob and I have always loved birds, especially doves. We had several trained to land on our hands for a treat of peanuts. Bob took the above picture of a white dove landing on my hand.

We started feeding the birds at a nearby park....

Then they began following us home! So Bob built a bird feeder for our balcony..

And we fed them every night after Bob came home from work. Since Bob passed away, I always found feathers in my pathway and always thought of Bob, a sign from Bob that he was with me. To the point, I had so many feathers I have a bouquet of feathers from Bob.

And then suddenly they stopped. No more feathers.... No more Bob? Where had he gone?

I signed up and took an online class with Matt Frasier (medium) on "Signs" hoping for some answers to why I wasn't getting any. Matt expressed something new which was you could request a particular sign, something that would personally remind you of your loved one. Now other mediums and books have said to never request a particular sign, so this was new to me. I decided to try it.

I asked Bob to please send me a feather. A different colour feather than the ones I had. Red (cardinal) or green (parrot) both birds are in our neighbourhood or even black, just a feather different than the ones I had in my bouquet.... and in lieu of feather, hey Bob, a $20 bill would do! (He always carried his "lucky 20" in his wallet.)

So I asked. I waited. And nothing happened for two weeks. And one night, I got frustrated and screamed at him, screamed at Bob: "COME HOME! I NEED YOU! DAMN IT!" I went to bed and woke up early around 4 a.m., couldn't fall back to sleep, ultimately got up, feed Kona and Ripley, made coffee, settled down on the couch to watch the morning news and promptly fell asleep.

Only to be startled awake by someone coming in the back door. Terrified, I sprang up! Saw nothing. Heard a voice (in my head) "it's a dream, go back to sleep". I immediately fell back to sleep and the dream continued: the back door opened and I heard the clank of car keys hit the metal kitchen table. I heard Bob call out, "Honey, I'm home!" just like he used to when he came home from work, thinking it was funny, like an old TV show. And Bob, in my dream, walked into the kitchen, through the dining room, toward me in the living room. He was smiling and wearing his favourite blue shirt, blue jeans and it was so real I opened my eyes expecting him to actually be standing there. Of course he wasn't.

That morning while walking Kona I didn't find a single feather... About a block away from our house, I noticed in the dirt there was a lamp harp. I walked past it, thinking that's weird. Why is there an antique lamp harp lying in the dirt. Nothing around it. No other junk, etc. Just a lamp harp. Then I thought, I wonder if there is a finial on it? Went back to look and there was an old lamp finial like a weathervane. I picked it up, brushed off the dirt, took it home. While showering, thinking about the lamp harp and its unusual finial. Once done, I went and took a good look at the finial. It wasn't a weathervane at all.

But a brass arrow with a feather! Which is certainly a different colour feather than any I have!

Now Bob used to love to restore old lamps, which is why I know what a lamp "harp" is, in fact I have a whole drawer marked "lamp parts" in our tool chest in Bob's handwriting. He often took before and after pictures of his projects.

Above is one his projects.... So an antique lamp harp and finial is definitely something that reminds me of Bob and his hobby. And a feather on a finial, well that's a sign! Finally!

The next day I found an actual feather, brown and orange.... Not even sure what kind of bird that is... But a different colour than any I have...

And the next week, there in my path was a folded twenty dollar bill.

He is certainly still with me. He's home. He's made that very clear. Thank you, sweetheart!