Boarded Up

 Here we go again.... It's going to be a long, stressful week. I am alone with Kona and Ripley.

I Am Exhausted! Ian barrelling down.

 Spent all morning into the afternoon dragging stuff inside from the porch and back deck. Getting ready for Ian which is sounding more and more frightening.

Tomorrow, got some guys coming to board me up.

We are expecting wide spread flooding, 10 or more inches of rain, power outages and hurricane force winds.....

Still more to do tomorrow to prepare before all hell breaks loose on Wednesday.

Freaking out. Scared shitless. Wish Bob were here.

Waiting and Watching

Waiting today for the lawn service, the AC service and a guy from a pool restoration service. Going to be a long day.

Going to be a long weekend waiting for this:

As Bob would say, we are in "the cone of doom" for this storm, still a tropical depression but projected to be a hurricane....  

Don't need this right now.

28 Years Ago

...we stood before the judge and promised our love and lives to each other. You were crying. I was nervous. I giggled when you accidentally tried to put your ring on my finger. 

Forever, my darling, my love, my life.

Happy Anniversary

Two Years Ago

This morning marks the 2 year anniversary of my sister's death. Seems like so long ago for some reason. Still doesn't seem real.....

 

A Long Hot Summer and not over yet....

It has been a hot and messy summer. Seems like death in the air. Plus medical issues with both Kona and Ripley. Kona three pills a day. Ripley two pills a day. Both have sprays and Ripley has steroids on top it. Myself, trying to wean down the Xanax as I'm starting to get some side effects from it... ringing in my ears being one of them which is driving me crazy. Plus the periodontal disease has raised its nasty head and returned, partly because of missing too many appointments during pandemic lockdown, partly as I'm predisposed genetically to it. I was scheduled for several procedures, each 2 hours in a dental chair, when my hygienist came down with Covid and everything is hold after the first one. Nerve-wrecking, I tell you.

I've got termites in the house (again). The pool surface cracking. Critters in the backyard. A broken gate. Rotting wood on the deck. A dripping AC duct in the attic.  Trying to find the appropriate service providers. Making phone calls that go unanswered. The usual fun of home ownership.

We are at the peak of hurricane season. Though the tropics are rather quiet, the storms have been fierce and daily. Constant lightening warnings, sometimes tornado warnings. Kona, Ripley and I huddled on the sofa while the world crashes around us. In the mornings, I see large branches fallen on cars and fences knocked over. Scary, that. So far, everything fine at home.

Missing my dad brings back the emptiness, the hole in my heart, since Bob left this earth. Our wedding anniversary next week. 28 years. And my sister's death anniversary the same week. My birthday coming up soon. Getting older.

Makes me think of my own mortality. Makes me think, I must finish this book. Then makes me wonder is it even worth it to try. Will all that hard work just end up in a slush pile? Or be bound to the endless scrap heap of never published/never read manuscripts.... And will it really make a difference at all? And am I really that important?

Feeling a bit melancholy. And quiet.

Step by step.

Day by day.

I know I must carry on... even though it's hard sometimes.