It has been a hot and messy summer. Seems like death in the air. Plus medical issues with both Kona and Ripley. Kona three pills a day. Ripley two pills a day. Both have sprays and Ripley has steroids on top it. Myself, trying to wean down the Xanax as I'm starting to get some side effects from it... ringing in my ears being one of them which is driving me crazy. Plus the periodontal disease has raised its nasty head and returned, partly because of missing too many appointments during pandemic lockdown, partly as I'm predisposed genetically to it. I was scheduled for several procedures, each 2 hours in a dental chair, when my hygienist came down with Covid and everything is hold after the first one. Nerve-wrecking, I tell you.
I've got termites in the house (again). The pool surface cracking. Critters in the backyard. A broken gate. Rotting wood on the deck. A dripping AC duct in the attic. Trying to find the appropriate service providers. Making phone calls that go unanswered. The usual fun of home ownership.
We are at the peak of hurricane season. Though the tropics are rather quiet, the storms have been fierce and daily. Constant lightening warnings, sometimes tornado warnings. Kona, Ripley and I huddled on the sofa while the world crashes around us. In the mornings, I see large branches fallen on cars and fences knocked over. Scary, that. So far, everything fine at home.
Missing my dad brings back the emptiness, the hole in my heart, since Bob left this earth. Our wedding anniversary next week. 28 years. And my sister's death anniversary the same week. My birthday coming up soon. Getting older.
Makes me think of my own mortality. Makes me think, I must finish this book. Then makes me wonder is it even worth it to try. Will all that hard work just end up in a slush pile? Or be bound to the endless scrap heap of never published/never read manuscripts.... And will it really make a difference at all? And am I really that important?
Feeling a bit melancholy. And quiet.
Step by step.
Day by day.
I know I must carry on... even though it's hard sometimes.
2 comments:
Dearest!
You'll never know if you make a difference if you don't put it out there. Finish the book. Remember the encouragement Bob gave you. Remember, too, that there are other publishing avenues aside from the traditional route.
And yes, you really ARE that important. Love you honey.
P.S. what is with that dang a/c? Good grief. Praying for the storm to weaken....
~Jenn
Jenn, AC is fixed! A six foot long board fell onto the duct work, punching holes in it. Where the hell it came from, I have no clue! Maybe the attic is haunted, lol.
Swimming pool may have to be totally resurfaced.... grrr
Now have to deal with Hurricane Ian. Had to take a full dose of Xanax today, been trying to wean back. Oh well, And so it goes.
Thanks for your comment!
Love ya!
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