today I woke to the worse day of my life. My darling, my love, was gone. Dead in his bed. A tribute to the love of my life.
Where did the time go? Bob, I love you, more and more and more. As we used to say.
And love you forever.... Miss you everyday. And thank you for being a part of my life, teaching me how to love, what true love really is...
Just don't understand why you had to leave so soon, too soon, we were supposed to grow old together. That was the plan... My love, my darling...
Whoa! Lots of comments on my last post, about probate and my sister's estate -- so thought I'd just try to clarify how it works, in Wisconsin, but possibly some other states as well.
So, some one dies. Has a will and lists an executor or representative (it's called different things in different states) in their will. In my sister's case she listed me and my father. Then in her will she just said 50/50 split as heirs to her two children, nothing for her executors. Over the years, she'd bought life insurance and had retirement funds which she put a POD on (Payable On Death) beneficiary of her two children. So those things don't have to go to probate. However a couple things, including one annuity and one bank account, she didn't do that. Also she did not specify any personal belongings to anyone, i.e. car, house, etc. Thus we must go to probate.
It costs money to go to probate. You need an attorney. You have to file with the court. There are court filing fees. You have to have an inventory of the amount of money the estate is worth, ie. hire appraisers for real estate and personal property. You have to pay this attorney. You have to pay the appraisers. You have to pay probate filing fees. And then it comes down to you have to get rid of the personal property which means hiring someone to do an estate sale. Meanwhile you have to file IRS plus Wisconsin estate taxes. In my sister's case, also her last year she was alive income taxes plus death/estate taxes. So you hire an accountant. We also, with what little money in her non-POD accounts have had to keep paying her 2 mortgages, property taxes, house insurance, utility bills until probate is over. That money is dwindling. That is what we (executors) of the estate have to do. Right now we have been paying bills etc. through her estate account, but like I said the money is dwindling.
Anyway, in my case, when my Bob died, the attorney's/probate/tax accountant fees total were over $16,000. We didn't even have to appraise anything because I was both heir and executer.
So here is where my father and I stand. We have to pay the attorney, pay the taxes, pay probate filing fees, pay the appraisers, pay mortgage payments and other bills connected to the property (credit cards have been paid off already) and pay the woman who is hopefully is going to do an estate sale -- not sure because of Covid, but hopefully can have an estate sale. And hopefully that will make enough money to pay all the bills. And all this is taking time because of Covid, and no estate sales were being held, just beginning to start up in June. And don't even ask about stuff that has disappeared.... it's been a mess.
If we still owe money, the "short fall", as the attorney phrased it, it's our responsibility. Even though the heirs have already cashed out over $100,000 in insurance and annuity payments. Now that is a Wisconsin law... some states the heirs have to pay, but in Wisconsin it's the executors of the estate who have to pay all those bills.
So! That's how it works, folks, Update your wills! Leave your executors some cash. Or make up some kind of trust or POD everything you can.
And PS: in a few days it's Bob's death anniversary and I am an emotional mess... just saying
Whoa, just got an EOB (explanation of benefits) from my health insurance company saying I owe $18,293.23 for my hand surgeries. I tell you, nearly had a heart attack. Glad I didn't, because they probably wouldn't have paid for that either.
Of course I made many phone calls, spent hours on the phone, but looks like it's true. Didn't know my health insurance was so, excuse me, shitty. I mean, I have paid over $22,000+ in premiums, over the past several years, and when I finally need it, they have paid a measly $7500 toward my medical bills.
Jeepers. Why bother having insurance? Trying to figure out how to get a different health insurance plan. Not easy, too young for Medicare, too"rich" for Affordable Health Care aka Obamacare.... 60 years old now... We definitely need Universal Health Care in this country. The prices charged by hospitals and doctors are ridiculous.
Meantime, I'm sure you have heard about the gas shortage here in the south. Decided I'd better fill up the car, thankfully no lines, but $3.50/gallon. Whoa! Well, glad my car isn't a gas guzzler, filled the tank, doesn't even equate when thinking about the $ I'm going to be paying for medical bills. But still...
Then the attorney for my sister's estate says if there is a "shortfall" i.e. there are bills left to be paid after probate me and my father as co-executors have to pay those bills out of pocket. Even though we are not heirs, who are getting money, and we don't even get so much as a damn brooch out of that estate...
And my hand still not working. Damn!
Oh well, isn't life fine....
I didn't realize I have been so neglectful of my blog, over a month of silence. So sorry.
A word of advice to any readers out there: if you don't have a Last Will & Testament, draw one up. If you have make sure it's up-to-date. Unfortunately my sister's will is over 20 years old and so very outdated. She left my father and me as co-representatives, not knowing that when she passed I would be 1400 miles away and my father in his 80's. She didn't specify any particulars on how to split her assets except 50/50 between the kids. She didn't have PODs (payable on death) beneficiaries on many of her bank and annuity accounts. All this has left her estate a complete mess in Probate. Add family disputes, things disappearing from the house, me rushing to notarize paperwork to send up north. My father's medical issues causing the burden to fall on my mother. Add Co-Vid and the inability to hold an estate sale. Days spent on the couch in tears.... Like I said, a mess. My therapist says that my sister's death plus the isolation from Co-Vid is bringing back my grief from losing Bob and I do miss him now more than ever. It will be 6 years this month...
On top of dealing with this, spent an entire day at a car detailer "mold bombing" my formerly flooded car. Which afterwards smelled like a toxic waste dump, and the conditioner they used left the gas and brake pedals so slippery that it was nerve-racking drive home.
And hours on the phone dealing with my insurance regarding medical bills, including one that was submitted to the wrong insurance company and then turned over to collections.... And insurance claim paperwork.
Having to have a new AC unit installed... etc. with general usual home maintenance and mold issues in the house.
Still working with on my hand therapy...
My book manuscript has come to a screeching halt.
I will be try to post more regularly in the future.
Sorry again. Excuse any typos, fingers still not working right. Frustrating.
